This Is the Last Time You’ll Hear From Him

I’m hanging up my sports fans gear. No more waving the pennant, no further need for the binoculars, out goes the padded seat--I’ve had it!

It all began when that covey of lardheads, the IAAF, sabotaged Zola Budd’s career in long-distance running. Not because she competed in an unauthorized event in South Africa but because (Are you ready for this?) she watched an event. If that isn’t outright stupid arrogance, then I never heard of it.

Then some poor, senile old man sacrificed a gallant little colt in the Preakness just to satisfy his ego and make sure the filly didn’t win. And this poor slob is in racing’s Hall of Fame.

Then the umpires decided to make a mockery out of America’s game by going out of their way to enforce the balk rule; much the same way that an arrogant, supercilious egotist made a joke out of the competition for the America’s Cup by sailing a catamaran. I guess the Deed of Gift specifically designates sail boats or this “sportsman” would have competed with a thunderboat like Miss Budweiser.

Then the heavyweight champion shows his class by wrecking a couple of expensive cars and breaking his hand in a senseless street fight. Ever heard of Joe Louis pulling any stunts like that? Another one of these “champions” calls himself Sugar Ray when any fight fan knows there was only one real Sugar Ray, and this pretender couldn’t lace on Robinson’s gloves. I’m quitting before some other jerk comes along and calls himself Babe Ruth.

PAUL WILLIAMS

San Diego