Tyson-Bruno Fight May Be One for the Ages

When the bout between Mike Tyson and Frank Bruno was postponed for the third time, Seth Abraham of HBO said: “My guess is that Mike Tyson might not fight for months. He may not fight before Halley’s comet returns.”

Halley’s comet will return in 2061. Ira Berkow of the New York Times, calculating that Tyson then will be 95 and Bruno 99, asked Randy Gordon of the New York State Athletic Commission if he would sanction the fight.

“Depends,” Gordon said. “You have to be careful of age discrimination today. We’ve got old fighters coming around all the time wanting to get their licenses back. One guy is 53, and he wasn’t very good when he was fighting.

“I asked him, ‘What makes you think you’ll do better now?’ He said, ‘I’m smarter.’ Maybe Tyson and Bruno would be, too. I’d just have to wait and see. If I could see. I’d be 111 years old then.”

Add Tyson: When it was rumored that the heavyweight champion was dating Robin Givens again, Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post visualized this exchange:

Robin: Where do you want to go?

Mike: I know a great all-night clothing store.

Robin: You’ll pick me up?

Mike: No, you drive, because I’ll either wreck the car or give it away.

Add Kornheiser: “Speaking of Robin, Mike, et al, the shy, understated boy billionaire Donald (Quality Is My Mission, Self- Aggrandizement Is My Life, Ask Me About The Gold Faucets On My Fabulous Yacht) Trump was making another shy, understated inroad into the sporting world by sponsoring a bicycle race called--tell me this isn’t shy and understated--The Tour de Trump. Seriously. The Tour de Trump. Mon Dieu! Personally, I can’t wait for him to get his own quiz show, ‘Stump De Trump.’ ”

Trivia Time: Who was awarded the television rights to the first Super Bowl? (Answer to follow.)

Wait a Minute: Said Cowboy Coach Tom Landry, who is under fire in Dallas: “You get so much criticism when you’re a team like we are, that’s won so many Super Bowls.”

Many? The Cowboys have won two.

Add Landry: Wrote Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald after the Cowboys lost to the Cleveland Browns: “Thomas Wade Landry is a pitiful shadow of Mt. Landry greatness.”

Bayless added: “It’s amazing this team hasn’t quit on Mt. Senility yet.”

All-American linebacker Broderick Thomas of Nebraska claims West Virginia has no right to be playing for the national championship and says Mountaineer quarterback Major Harris is overrated.

“There are a lot of quarterbacks better than him,” Thomas said. “Notre Dame will probably win by three touchdowns, maybe by 40-some points. West Virginia hasn’t played anybody. They ain’t got a prayer.

“Notre Dame ought to be playing Miami or us, but I don’t think anybody wants to play us. I know Notre Dame doesn’t.”

Add Thomas: Calling himself a Raider fan, he said: “I’d love to wear the silver and black. I think I can help Al Davis regain a world championship, and I think he could keep me happy by keeping my pockets stuffed.”

Trivia Answer: The game was telecast by both CBS and NBC.

Quotebook

Wallace Matthews of Newsday, on Pinklon Thomas, who shaved his head for the Evander Holyfield fight: “His bald head made him resemble Mahatma Gandhi, and he fought a similarly non-violent battle.”