Boxing : This Sport Has a Way With Words

Since the end of the year is only hours away, it’s only fitting to review boxing’s quotes-of-the-year, timed hopefully just before Don King opens his mouth again.

These are the top quotes of 1988, the most preposterous utterances by some of the most preposterous characters in the world’s most preposterous sport.

So, in uncertain order, here are the Top Dozen for ‘88:

Trainer/announcer Angelo Dundee, describing an ambidextrous boxer:

“I like this kid . . . and I didn’t know he was ambivalent.”

Welterweight Marlon Starling, days before his Las Vegas draw with Mark Breland:

“The difference between me and Mark Breland is, I like to fight.”

Michael Spinks, after being knocked unconscious in his 91-second bout with Mike Tyson:

“I finally found someone I couldn’t beat.”

Art (Golden Boy) Aragon, 1950s welterweight, on his opinion of Canadian boxer Donny (Golden Boy) Lalonde adopting his nickname:

“He besmirches the name, whatever that means.”

Trainer Richie Giachetti, the morning after Tyson’s knockout of Spinks:

“Are there stars on Mars? A lot of trainers are going to the Olympics to scout talent. They’re nuts. I’m going to Mars and Venus, because this guy (Tyson) is out of this world.”

Sugar Ray Leonard, the morning after his comeback knockout victory over Donny Lalonde:

“I took Donny to a new level of intensity, and he wasn’t able to follow me there.”

Promoter Don King, raising his feud with Mike Tyson’s manager, Bill Cayton, to a new level of intensity:

“Bill Cayton is the son of Satan.”

Promoter/manager Dan Duva, groping for a reason why his heavyweight, Evander Holyfield, can’t knock out heavyweights:

“Evander’s problem is that he makes them quit before he has a chance to knock them out.”

Announcer/boxer Ruben Castillo (Castillo made the Top 12 only last week with this one), explaining why he didn’t want anyone to know how much he’d earn in his next fight:

“Because women see that, they seek me out, and the next thing I know is I’m in court on another paternity suit.”

Don King, at the height of Mike Tyson’s problems with Robin Givens, trees and Bill Cayton, sent a news release to every boxing writer in America, trying to prop up Tyson’s crumbling public image. Highlights:

“Mike Tyson is a role model for our youth, an American hero for us all . . . he represents America . . . (and) is our ambassador of good will to all peoples of the world. Indeed, he is one of our national treasures.”

George Foreman, describing his fear of Joe Frazier before he knocked Frazier out and won the heavyweight championship in 1973:

“The thing that made Joe so tough was, when you hit him in the face , he liked it . And when you missed, it made him angry.”

Michael Spinks, before his knockout by Tyson, talking about his and brother Leon’s welcome to St. Louis, their hometown, after both won gold medals at the 1976 Olympics:

“It was great . . . we had a police escort from the airport to the old neighborhood, with sirens blowing . . . and we weren’t even in trouble.”