People and Events

Now, you can buy the rights to a piece of Mira Costa High’s football field.

The Manhattan Beach school has divided the turf into 5,000 one-square-yard plots, for sale at $10 apiece, as part of an earthy fund-raiser to purchase equipment for the team.

On April 15, the field will be trod upon by a mustang named Matt Dillon, which is owned by Hans Albrecht, a friend of football coach Dave Brown.

“The person who has the ticket where he (Matt) does his business will get $5,000, or 10% of the amount we collect,” said Brown. “A real golden road-apple.”

More than a quarter of the field is still up for sale. But the Mustangs--naturally, that’s the nickname of the school’s teams--hope to net $45,000. The footballers can evidently use improved facilities, having won only one game last year.

Ticket-holders will be allowed to ring the field before Matt leaves his mark and attempt to urge him over to their piece of turf. Boots are recommended for the job.

In the tradition of such specialized social units as the Millionaire Singles Club, the Atheist Dating Service of Santa Monica and Southern California Freeway Singles, let’s all welcome...the Lonely Heartsaver Club.

The Santa Monica Citizens’ CPR Committee is advertising its May 15 cardio-pulmonary resuscitation class this way:

“Come Learn CPR and Meet That Special Someone!!!”

More from those whacky bureaucrats in Washington:

Karen Johnson, an assistant director of development for the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra, was intrigued by some language she spotted in one federal grant application.

It stipulated: “No person, other than an individual, shall receive a grant from any federal agency.”

A high tide is expected, which is why you’ll be able to observe musicians along Malibu’s Surfrider Beach at 11 tonight.

Guerrilla pianist Sandra Tsing Loh, backed by the Topanga Symphony, will pound out her latest hit, “Night of the Grunion,” in an attempt to coax the little critters ashore.

Loh explains that she’s trying to bring land and sea life into “symphonic harmony with nature’s eternal rhythm.”

Weekend parking places in Venice are such prized possessions--some private lots now charge $10--that resident John Wilson saw a wily character in a parked car demand $5 from a waiting driver before pulling out of his space.