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Peter Apanel, czar of the Doo Dah...

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<i> From staff and wire reports</i>

Peter Apanel, czar of the Doo Dah Parade in Pasadena, promises that the 14th parody of the city’s stuffy Tournament of Roses parade will be as nutty as ever, with one exception:

The recorded parade information on his answering machine.

Last year, Apanel--true to the contrary nature of the Doo Dah--urged people not to attend.

“You can’t find a place to park,” his recording pointed out. “It won’t be any fun. It’s gonna be too crowded.”

Soon afterward, he was contacted by Pasadena police and city officials.

“They said they wanted to know what was going on,” Apanel recalled. “They were getting calls from people who thought I was canceling the parade.”

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So Apanel is playing it straight this year. His recording reminds would-be entrants that no motorized vehicles or animals are allowed as participants in the event, which is set for noon Nov. 26.

But, he told The Times, he’s hoping for a smaller crowd than last year’s.

“I’d really advise people to go to the movies that day instead,” he said.

Rent-a-Cops go Madison Avenue:

Westec Security, which provides private neighborhood patrols, has announced the establishment of a Westec News Bureau to furnish the media with the latest in “crime trends,” “crime statistics” and “other subjects relating to peace of mind.”

What’s next: the TV show?

It’s odd, in a way, that Ronald Reagan would apologize for remarking that he was “not too proud of Hollywood these days” and that Sony Corp.’s purchase of Columbia Pictures might be a step toward bringing back “decency and good taste” to American films.

After all, he’s certainly not the first to rap Hollywood. It’s almost a sport, especially within the industry. Consider these flashbacks:

“Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood,” said humorist Oscar Levant, “and you’ll find the real tinsel underneath.”

“The only ‘ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism,” said Dorothy Parker.

And, finally, this view of Tinseltown from pioneer movie-maker D.W. Griffith: “It’s a shame they took this country away from the rattlesnakes.”

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Before we leave Tinseltown, let’s ponder why Song’s Automotive Service would display a giant cutout of Marilyn Monroe on its front gate.

Is owner Kyongsop Song a rabid fan? Was this Monroe’s favorite garage?

Nah!

Song just wants people to notice his Silver Lake-area shop.

“If a customer of mine wants to tell someone else to come here, he just says, ‘Go to the mechanic with Marilyn Monroe out front,’ ” Song pointed out, logically enough.

Song obtained the cutout of Monroe, as well as those of singers Bruce Springsteen and Donna Summer, from a nearby storage facility, where they had been left behind by a customer.

For a while, Song had the cutouts of Springsteen and Summer perched on his roof.

“But they blew down,” he said. “So I gave them to customers.”

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