It’s Too Much vs. Too Little in Tug of War Over Padres’ Santiago

We have before us today the case of Benito Rivera Santiago vs. the San Diego Padres, another session in baseball’s process of negotiation through arbitration.

Tuffy Pinchpenny will represent the club.

Biggie Bucks will represent the player.

Shall we begin?

Arbitrator: “The envelopes please . . . Let’s see now, the player is asking $1.25 million, and the club is offering $750,000. Whew! You people are not exactly in the same ballpark. Are you sure you’re both talking about the same player?”

Tuffy: “I’m not sure who he’s talking about. We don’t have any $1 million catchers on our roster.”

Biggie: “No, but you should.”

Arbitrator: “Let’s proceed. Mr. Pinchpenny, I would like an opening statement from the club.”

Tuffy: “The man hit .236, which was down from .248 in 1988, which was down from .300 in 1987. We’re afraid the years are starting to catch up with him.”

Arbitrator: “Mr. Bucks, how old is your client?”

Biggie: “Sir, he will be 25 in March.”

Arbitrator: “Hmmm. Continue, Mr. Pinchpenny.”

Tuffy: “He had 20 errors and 14 passed balls, both more than any other catcher in the National League. We had pitchers who could have sued him for malpractice.”

Arbitrator: “And how much was Mr. Santiago paid in 1989?”

Tuffy: “He was paid $310,000. Obviously, we are being more than generous with our $750,000 offer.”

Biggie: “He was underpaid at $310,000, sir. Fortunately, he had incentive clauses. He made a total of $35,000 incentives for making the All-Star team and winning a Gold Glove.”

Arbitrator: “Wait a minute, this player made the All-Star team and won the Gold Glove? I had gotten the impression that Mr. Santiago is not much of a hitter or fielder.”

Biggie: “Allow me.”

Arbitrator: “Please.”

Biggie: “Mr. Santiago has played in the National League for three years. He has won two Silver Slugger Awards, which go to the best offensive player at his position, and two Gold Gloves, which go to the best defensive player at his position. In the ‘80s, Don Mattingly and Kirby Puckett were the only other players to do that in their first three years.”

Arbitrator: “I assume Mr. Santiago did not win a Silver Slugger in 1989.”

Tuffy: “Not with that .236 average. And his on-base percentage was only .277. We’re talking undisciplined here. I think he struck out once swinging at a moth.”

Biggie: “Hold on there. The man led all National League catchers in home runs, runs batted in and runs scored. So what if maybe the average was a little disappointing? Maybe he just gets a little weary. He has played more innings and had more at-bats than any other catcher each of the last three years.”

Tuffy: “You think playing 129 games in a 162-game schedule is overwork?”

Biggie: “You want to crouch behind a batter for three hours a day and take foul tips in the mask and catch 90 m.p.h. fastballs and block wild curves in the dirt?”

Tuffy: “ I’m not asking for $1.25 million for part-time work . . . “

Arbitrator: “Gentlemen, we’re starting to stray here. Are there more points to be made?”

Biggie: “He threw out 39% of the runners who tried to steal bases.”

Tuffy: “He missed 61%.”

Biggie: “Society would be well-served if the cops could catch 39% of the thieves they’re after. Besides, the average catcher caught only 31.9% of attempted base-stealers. And there’s another thing. The average National League team attempted 187 stolen bases, but only 51 were attempted against the Padres in the games Benny caught. He scares people.”

Tuffy: “Sure does. The pitchers. Don’t forget the 20 errors.”

Biggie: “You should also know he picked nine runners off first base and seven off second base . . . “

Tuffy: “. . . and none off third base. He’s just not a complete player. When runners get to the most dangerous base, he doesn’t pick any of them off. Zilch. See what I mean?”

Arbitrator: “OK, I think I know enough about Mr. Santiago as a player. What are other catchers being paid these days?”

Tuffy: “Terry Steinbach is making an average of $900,000 a year, but he hit .273 for the world champions. Mickey Tettleton is making $700,000, and he hit 26 home runs. Obviously, our $750,000 is extremely generous.”

Biggie: “You’re talking guys who aren’t in Santiago’s class. Steinbach has to be platooned. And Tettleton caught only 75 games. Be real, man. Tony Pena, who’s over the hill, is getting $6 million from Boston for three years. Obviously, our $1.25 million is extremely reasonable.”

Arbitrator: “It still seems to me that Mr. Pinchpenny and Mr. Bucks could hardly be talking about the same player. Thus, it also seems to me that the low bid is hardly generous and the high demand is hardly reasonable. Being that reason has very little relationship with reality in baseball these days, I will rule with the player. Next case.”