They’re Good Citizens but Lousy Rebounders

The University of New Hampshire Wildcats have the worst record of 281 Division I teams that have fielded a basketball team for the last four seasons, according to the NCAA.

The Wildcats have averaged four victories a season during that span.

But there is a bright side to such futility, according to former coach Jerry Friel, whose record at New Hampshire was 188-335.

“No players are out raping or killing someone, or screwing up their heads,” Friel said. “We’re doing everything right except winning basketball games.”

Add college basketball: Norm Stewart, Missouri basketball coach who collapsed a year ago and then underwent treatment for bleeding ulcers and colon cancer: “Now I see a little more humor during the game. If a guy misses a layup and another one of our guys tips it in, I call the one over who missed and say, ‘Nice assist.’ ”

Last add college basketball: Ed Murphy, Mississippi coach, says big men dominate inside because officials ignore lane violations. “You can spend eight seconds in the lane now and nobody calls it,” Murphy said. “We’ve had two or three called all year, and my center can’t cross the lane in three seconds.”

Trivia time: Of the national hockey teams that participated in the 1980 Winter Olympics, won by the United States in the Miracle on Ice, which produced the most current NHL players?

What, me worry?Michel Bergeron, coach of the hapless Quebec Nordiques, on former King coach Robbie Ftorek being called up from Halifax of the American Hockey League to lend him a hand: “I don’t feel any pressure. No more than I felt at the beginning of the season. Robbie is here to help me, not take my job. He has some good ideas. The big thing is to get this team to win again.”

Hot to trot: Romantic horse players were rewarded Wednesday night at Los Alamitos Race Course when David’s Cupid, the No. 1 horse in the first race on the Valentine’s night card, finished first and paid $12.60 to win.

Tomahawk putts?Michael Jordan of the Chicago Bulls, a six-handicap golfer, on the possibility of eventually joining the PGA Tour: “I might play terrible, but to make that transition from a team sport to an individual sport would be great. Golf is so competitive, and that’s what I want to do.”

Trivia answer: The Soviet Union, with five. The United States and Canada each has four.

Quotebook: Benny Dees, Wyoming basketball coach and a native of Georgia: “I can’t even get kids to visit from California. They all think I’m Andy Griffith.”