Reviewing Sports Hereabouts After Two Weeks Lost in the Desert

Solitude is wonderful but hard to find.

You used to be able to find it simply by going to a Clipper game.

However, since the Clippers departed to be closer to owner Donald Sterling’s wine cellar, I have taken to making 12-hour trips to remote outposts to find solitude and escape the real world. This year’s destination was Lake Powell, a man-made wonder God must be kicking himself over for leaving out of his game plan.

Beached on the shores of Lake Powell, you wonder if you’ll get back and find out the world has come to an end. You wouldn’t know it there.

This does, of course, leave a little bit of a void that eventually has to be filled. Anyone operating in this line of work has to retrace the footsteps of real time while his time was standing still.

Indeed, the real world hereabouts went through a rather eventful two weeks.

News Item: Padres Open Season but End Up Looking Up to Cincinnati’s 9-0 Start

The Padres might ultimately come to think of that first week of postponed games to be a blessing. You see, the Padres were scheduled to play Cincinnati three times then. Missing those games, the way the Reds were playing, was like being sent home sick the week before the Battle of Little Big Horn.

News Item: Chargers Trade Gary Anderson to Tampa Bay

Who?

News Item: Sockers’ Waad Hirmez Loses Day’s Pay for Refusing to Play Second Half

Given the way MISL players are paid, I figure this “fine” will cost Hirmez maybe $12.83. The biggest cost is instead to Coach Ron Newman’s control. What message does such a gentle penalty send to the players?

News Item: San Diego State Contemplates Leaving Western Athletic Conference for Pac-10

This is like Pa Kettle saying he’s thinking about leaving Ma for Kim Basinger. He’d better do some talking with Kim first. The Pac-10 is run like a pot-luck dinner, and the Aztecs have nothing to bring. Their best bet is to go independent in football and join the Big West in other sports.

News Item: USIU Contemplates Joining New Conference

As I understand it, the members would come from the likes of Chicago State, Northeastern Illinois, Missouri-Kansas City, Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Sacramento State, Cal State Northridge, Southern Utah State and Youngstown State. What? Otterbein wasn’t available? This conference will be called Intercollegiate Orphans United . . . or IOU.

News Item: Joan Kroc’s Daughter Files for Divorce from Jerry Kapstein; Jerry Kapstein Resigns as Padres’ Untitled CEO

As the world turns.

News Item: Chargers Draft Idaho Quarterback in First Round

Wait a minute! Jeff Friesz was not the first-round pick? He was the sixth-round pick? It seemed there was more gloating and posturing over Friesz’s selection than there was over the choice of Junior Seau in the first round. The Chargers consider him to be the steal of Bobby Beathard’s first draft. If he’s that good, he could only have been available because the rest of the NFL thought the University of Idaho was in the other Moscow. Bobby knows players . . . Bobby knows geography . . . too bad Bobby don’t know Bo.

News Item: Sockers (25-27) Rally to Earn Home-Field Advantage in MISL’s First Round

A glance at the calendar tells me this is the time the Sockers annually come out of hibernation. The difference is that they have dug a deeper burrow this winter. This is definitely not a team for all seasons.

News Item: SDSU Baseball Coach Jim Dietz Wins His 800th Game

Dietz might be the best coach no one knows in town (and beyond). If this guy was coaching an income sport, SDSU wouldn’t have a $500,000 athletic department deficit. If this guy was coaching an income sport, he would be looking forward to dinner at the White House. Maybe he should still be.

News Item: Padres Score 26 Runs in Two Games

Bam, 13-3 over San Francisco, and pow, 13-3 over Chicago. If triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number 13, the Padres obviously do not suffer from that. However, should they continue to hit with such proclivity, they had better hope they do not suffer from acrophobia.

In truth, I was back just in time for the Padres’ game against the Giants Monday night. And you’ll never guess how long I was gone.

Thirteen days. Exactly.