Hype Is Hype, but This Is Plain Creepy

I’m amazed I haven’t seen anything in print yet about the latest gimmick being used by unscrupulous producers to promote their movies. I saw plenty about the excess of the Dick Tracy promotions but nothing about the movie “Arachnophobia.”

I know that the makers of “Arachnophobia” are at fault, because who else could train hundreds of spiders to invade my home?

I first noticed them right after the first ads for the movie came out. They came into my house, onto my walls, into my cupboards--everywhere! I lost count of how many times I’ve seen a spider come running across the floor aiming straight for a pair of empty shoes. And the time a spider crawled up my shower curtain while I was taking a shower, his three-inch body made a silhouette that would do Hitchcock proud.

OK already, I’m going to the movie! Honest! I’ll see it twice--I’ll even skip bargain nights and pay full price. Just call off the spiders. Please?