Learning the Basics Isn’t as Easy as A-B-C : Rams: Players and coaches find teaching American football to club league amateurs in Berlin a difficult task.

Finally, someone held a football clinic for Werner, Klaus and Uwe. Boy, did they need one.

It seems clear now that one reason American football isn’t catching on here is because Germans can’t catch. They’re all Schnitzel fingers.

Several Ram coaches and players tried their level best to change that in one afternoon session on the fields of Maifeld, lending their skills to dozens of wide-eyed amateurs from the club leagues of Berlin.

It didn’t work. Turns out, you don’t build Romes or Roman Gabriels in a day.

“For me, it came too late,” said Christian Soerensen, a 31-year-old guard for the Berlin Rebels. “If you start 12 years ago, the Rams don’t come yet.”

Or something to that effect.

The players might have sought a genealogical connection in Ram defensive coordinator Fritz Shurmur, who conducted the clinic. But Shurmur isn’t German. He’s Polish/English/Irish.

Shurmur ran the players through agility drills, individual position instructions and, in the end, a short scrimmage. Make no mistake, the Germans came to play.

“We had to pull them back,” Shurmur said. “It was supposed to be touch. But every time you say ‘touch’ they say ‘tackle.’ ”

Pete Abitante, an NFL official monitoring the scrimmage, nearly choked on his strudel when the Germans knocked heads on the first snap from center.

“Pete,” Shurmur said, “How’s your liability insurance?”

Abitante didn’t know. Eventually, the color returned to his face.

So, what was learned from all this? Werner Luettich, a center for the Spandau Bulldogs, learned that Ram center Mike McDonald earns about 150,000 deutsche marks ($100,000) per year for bending over a ball and snapping it back through his legs for punts and field goals.

Now, this was a job for Luettich, who picked up some pointers from McDonald.

“I learned to pitch it with two hands,” Luettich said. “I used to pitch with one hand. He told me he played center since he was 12 years old. And every day he practiced 100 snaps.”

Klaus Wichmann, center for the Berlin Adler, thought he was coming to see Mike Webster, the long-time Pittsburgh Steeler center now playing for Kansas City. Webster is Wichmann’s favorite player.

Sorry, wrong clinic.

The 20 or so Rams who served as teachers seemed to have as much fun as their students.

Linebacker George Bethune taught pass-rush techniques called The Rip and The Swim to aspiring quarterback sackers. The Germans didn’t know ripping, but at least they’d heard of swimming.

Quarterback Rick Johnston had maybe the toughest job, since Germans don’t grow up playing many sports with an overhand throwing motion. Javelin is one, but it’s difficult finding receivers.

It was little wonder, then, that some of them probably threw no better than their sisters.

“You don’t learn it on TV,” Shurmur said. “If you could, there’d be a lot of women playing quarterback.”

Uwe Lehmann, a 20-year-old cornerback for the Berlin Stars, had no idea who the nice man was who helped him with his footwork. Lehmann, you see, was suffering through a position change. Once a safety, he was now being converted to cornerback.

“He taught me how to stand right,” Lehmann said. “What was his name? Jerry?”

Small world. Jerry Gray, formerly a cornerback, is being moved to safety by the Rams this season. When told that Gray had made the NFL’s Pro Bowl four consecutive times, Lehmann stared blankly, not quite sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

No doubt, the classiest acts of the clinic were members of the Berlin Adler, Germany’s top American football team.

Roman Motzkus, maybe the best wide receiver in the country, came to the clinic hoping to meet one of his idols, Flipper Anderson. Instead, he received instruction from a Ram free agent, Monty Gilbert.

Motzkus didn’t seem too disappointed.

“He taught me little things about cuts,” Motzkus said. “He told me don’t catch the ball with my body.”

Still, Motzkus won’t be satisfied until he can secure Anderson’s autograph.

“There is a chance I could meet him at the hotel?” Motzkus asked.

There was. Gilbert said he would arrange a meeting for today. Motzkus has offered to show the two receivers around Berlin.

The clinic had ended.

Next year’s session? How about instant replay?

Ram Notes

Kicker Mike Lansford’s brother, Jay, is a rock singer/producer in Hanover, Germany. He’s arriving in Berlin on Friday with Lansford’s parents, who made the trip over with the Rams. . . . Linebacker Larry Kelm (toe) is doubtful for Saturday’s game. Nose tackle Alvin Wright (quadriceps) and cornerback Darryl Henley (groin) are questionable. Linebacker Fred Strickland (hamstring) is probable. . . . The NFL’s top two, single-game yardage leaders are playing against each other Saturday. Kansas City’s Stephone Paige held the record of 309 yards, set in 1985, until last season, when Flipper Anderson surpassed that mark with 336 yards in 15 catches against New Orleans.