It was sort of a 1990s version...

It was sort of a 1990s version of Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” radio broadcast. But there was no realistic-sounding report of a Martian invasion this time--perhaps because we’ve learned that the real enemy out there is us.

Instead, the giant headline in the latest L.A. Weekly blared: “OIL SPILL DEVASTATES COAST--Tanker Collision Blackens Beaches, Closes Harbors from Baja to Big Sur.”

The catastrophe, which the Weekly said had occurred near Catalina Island, received eight pages of coverage, with photos. A short piece inside confessed that it was a hoax--an illustration of what could happen--but several readers were alarmed, including one who accused The Times of a “cover-up.” Many also phoned the Catalina Chamber of Commerce.

“People would ask, ‘Gee, with this big oil spill, should we come over?’ ” said one dismayed chamber worker. “I wonder how many others didn’t bother to call and just went to Disneyland?”

After all, the L.A. Weekly made no mention of oil tarnishing Tom Sawyer Island.

Only in L.A. Menu Item of the Week: Dennis Purcell points out that Trump’s in West Hollywood offers a grape-and-brie quesadilla.

It wasn’t quite as big as the day Walt what’s-his-name invited Ronald Reagan to help open his attraction in Disneyland back in the 1950s. But, nevertheless, the RTD officially began giving tours of its facilities Monday.

We couldn’t make it because we were watching for an oil slick off Muscle Beach, but a publicist reports:

“Towering robots hoisting bus transmissions at RTD’s Central Maintenance Facility, computerized trains inching across the Blue Line’s Central Control Facility screen, and a state-of-the-art computer center at which a dispatcher tracks buses--these are the sights of ‘L.A.’s Newest Attraction’ ” . . .

Uh, it’s free.

A hair stylist who goes by the name of Florencio says he contributes to conservation by watering his horse and his lawn in Glendale at the same time. He also saves a lot of money on fertilizer and lawn mowing.

Speaking of the drought, the L.A. Baroque Orchestra, in a recent ad, announced that next month it will play Handel’s “The Water Music” . . . “complete and unrationed.”

miscelLAny:

The most common targets of consumer complaints received by the L.A. County Department of Consumer Affairs are landlords, followed by mail-order companies.