PREP WEDNESDAY : ON THE PREP PATH : Earning a Scholarship the Old-Fashioned Way Is the Best Way

“Howdy and welcome, folks. It’s time again for another fun-filled edition of ‘Full Ride,’ the game show for parents who seek that all-important status symbol: the college scholarship !

“OK, let’s get started.

“Parent No. 1, tell us what you’ve done to groom your son for a full ride.”

“Well, when our Johnny was born, we filled the nursery with all the important stimuli. You know, playbooks, goal posts, rolls of Astroturf. We even got his diapers autographed by Lou Holtz.”

“Ooooh, very nice. Very nice.”

“Yeah, then when he was 4, we took him to his first session with his sports psychologist. I mean, Johnny wasn’t a wimp or anything, but, well, you know, any time his mother and I would sit him down to discuss pass plays he’d cry for his Winnie-the-Pooh videos.”

“Oh, yes. That can be a problem.”

“Anyway, last year at Johnny’s eighth birthday party, his exercise physiologist noticed he wasted far too much oxygen when he blew out his candles. From that moment on we’ve had him hold his breath on the way to practice.”

“To increase lung capacity?”

“You got it. We figured if football didn’t pan out we could always get him into underwater alligator wrestling.”

“Right. I heard that was a scholarship sport now in Florida.”

“Well, not yet, but we’re working on it. Got lobbyists down there right now, as a matter of fact.”

“Isn’t that expensive?”

“Heck, what isn’t? We’ve had Johnny work with sports nutritionists, astrologers, aerodynamic hairstyle specialists. Those footwork sessions with Paula Abdul weren’t cheap, you know. Anyway, it’ll all be worth it once he gets that full ride. I mean, I get tears in my eyes every time I envision him signing that letter of intent.”

“Sure, sure. We all understand that feeling, don’t we? OK, on to the next contestant. Go ahead, Parent No. 2.”

“Uh, I think maybe I’m on the wrong stage.”

“What do you mean? This is ‘Full Ride,’ the show everyone wants to be on. Now go ahead, don’t be shy. Tell us what you’ve done to get your kid a scholarship.”

“Well, I just, uh, have him go to school and let him play sports, basically.”

“Oh, stop kidding. What’s your game plan? Who’s your publicist?”

“No, really. My son told me when he gets to high school, he’d like to try out for the gymnastics team, if they have one.”

“Gymnastics? Gymnastics ! Come on, Parent No. 2, didn’t anyone tell you that gymnastics is one of the fastest-fading college sports around? It’s the dead end of scholarship street. For heaven’s sake, haven’t you attended even one scholarship-seeking seminar?”

“No, see my son really enjoys gymnastics. He likes doing somersaults, just for fun, you see.”

“Fun? What does fun have to do with it? We’re talking scholarships , here. You understand the significance of that? Get your kid a scholarship, mister, and your status skyrockets. We’re talking a big piece of prestige pie. I mean, c’mon, it’s the Orange County way.” But is it the right way? No way.

High school coaches in Orange County typically say the pressure on athletes has, in some cases, risen to ridiculous proportions.

Earning a college scholarship is, in many areas, becoming more important than playing the sport. Sure, college is expensive and a scholarship can certainly help a family in need. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But when parents go to unreasonable lengths to increase their child’s chances for a scholarship, the resulting pressure can interfere with the child’s ability to perform and the enjoyment of the sport the child plays.

And many times, you have to question the parents’ motives.

At Corona del Mar High, a parent of a wide receiver once called the coach’s office requesting that her son be thrown more passes than usual in the upcoming game. Why? Because a Pac-10 recruiter said he would be in the stands that night.

At Laguna Beach, parents of a volleyball player asked the coach if he could make sure their daughter was given more opportunities to spike than normal because they told a college coach they would videotape their daughter’s next match so he could judge her ability.

“We just hired a new girls’ soccer coach,” Corona del Mar athletic director Jerry Jelnick said. “One parent came out and his first question was, ‘Does he know college coaches?’ He didn’t ask whether the guy knew soccer.”

The Times gets several calls each week from parents who are upset because their child hasn’t gotten “enough press.” Their complaint often comes down to this:

“How’s my son going to get a scholarship if no one knows about him?”

Newspapers are in the business of news, not public relations. Publicists now are making themselves available to high school athletes.

But as with all the other ways a parent can “buy” a better chance for an athletic scholarship--personal trainers, nutritionists, sports psychologists--doesn’t it make more sense to sock that money away in a college cookie jar in the first place?

It might not be as prestigious as a scholarship, but the education will be paid for just the same. Barbie Ludovise’s column appears Wednesday and Sunday. Readers may reach Ludovise by writing her at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626 or calling (714) 966-5847.