New Year Looks to Be More of Same for San Diego Fans

Looking ahead . . .

What do we learn from history? Simple. We learn what to expect.

Yes, it will be another adventurous though probably not particularly fulfilling year hereabouts.

First, however, we should make a little side trip to Boston to see how our old friend Jack Clark is likely to fare. He surely leaves San Diego with some reluctance, leaving behind warm memories and multitudes of heart-broken fans and teammates.

In Boston, look for Clark to declare that he does not care for seafood, baked beans, marathons or old buildings. He will also suggest that there is this one particular teammate cares only about the batting championships he wins.

Clark will leave the Red Sox after the season, commenting: “I can always find new bridges to burn.”

Milli Vanilli will lip-sync the national anthem at a Padre game this year. It might have worked out if the public address system did not inadvertently use the tape of Roseanne Barr’s 1990 version.

The Padres will finish 30 games out of first place in the National League West, but it won’t be a totally wasted season. This, after all, is an organization dedicated to building from within.

“Look at the progress we’ve made!” a news release will proclaim. “Victorville, Waterloo, Scottsdale and Charleston all finished in the first division of their respective leagues.”

Therefore, the Padres’ timetable for contention in the NL West is improved from 2005 to 2001. Of course, if those foolhardy Dodgers and Giants and Reds and Braves keep spending the big bucks money to bring in major league players, it might take longer.

Can the Chargers do it again? I know that is what everyone is wondering.

They finished 6-10 in 1988 and then they re peated with 6-10 in 1989 and then they enthusiastically embraced that newly minted word. They three -peated in 1990.

Six and 10 and can they do it again?

And what would be the expression or word to cover a fourth consecutive 6-10 season?

Four -peats sake. Enough is enough.

An underdog San Diego State football team will score 65 points against Brigham Young University.

This type of offensive production created tremendous excitement in College Station, Tex., but not here in San Diego.

“Fine,” a cynic will growl, “but did they beat the spread?”

Because of permit problems, the San Diego Marathon will be run in sections over a period of six days.

The first 3.1 miles will be run in Carlsbad, followed by 4.2 around Fiesta Island, 6.2 in San Marcos, 6 in Balboa Park, 2 over the Coronado Bridge and 4.7 in Jamul.

The winner’s total elapsed time of one hour, 57 minutes and 36 seconds sets a world record.

It will get a giant asterisk.

Corporate sponsorships . . . and bake sales . . . save athletics at GTE/AT&T;/CIGNA/TRW/USF&G;/USIU.

The basketball coach changes his name to Great American Gary Zarecky. And the basketball team will be called the Pollo Loco Gulls.

Look for the Padres to get career years from their starters at third base, left field and center field. Of course, career years for the guys they figure to have playing those positions will range in batting average from .193 to .211, home runs from one to four and runs batted in from nine to 13.

The half-dozen or so surviving season-ticket holders can take heart in the fact that Houston’s ownership is even tighter with the buck than the Padres’ new ownership, thus assuring the Padres of a fifth-place finish.

Yes, the Sockers will win their ninth indoor championship in the past 10 years. No, they will not do it without becoming embroiled in controversy.

Owner Ron Fowler will have to issue a press release insisting he did not run an ad in the Pennysaver offering to trade his interest in the financially troubled team for a 20-foot sailboat, RV or a cabbage patch in Valley Center.

Jules Veeee, changing his name so one career might be distinguished from another, makes a comeback.

There will be talk that San Diego might someday have a new arena with tenants from the National Hockey League and National Basketball Assn. OK, I know. Now I’m getting ridiculous.