THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : Magic Misses Bird as Much as Anyone

Dear Larry,

Hope you’re feeling a LOT better.

This is to introduce the driver I’ve hired from Celtic Lackey Limos to bring you to the game.

Please come out from under your covers. I need you here. The Garden is just another argument for urban renewal without you.

Can’t wait to see that game of yours I admire so much, so we can dust you boys off properly.

As ever,

Earvin

BOSTON--In real life, after they became friendly rivals rather than merely rivals, Magic Johnson and Larry Bird would send each other telegrams, such as the one above, when they were hurt.

Surprised by the severity of Bird’s back injury, Johnson didn’t send one this time. But he said he still dreams of one more glorious, glamorous, me-and-Larry, Laker-Celtic NBA finals. He was hoping to preview it today but fate, or geriatrics, took a hand.

The game is still on but without Bird, who has a bad back. Despite the news blackout imposed by Celtic CEO Dave Gavitt, Bird is unlikely to play in this Super Sunday hors d’oeuvres, or any other game before the all-star break.

Bird is reportedly disconsolate, although nobody can say for sure because he has dropped from sight.

Not too happy himself is Johnson, once Bird’s archrival, now a friendly but no less avid one.

“The drama, the excitement, the intensity is so high when he’s playing,” Johnson said, sighing.

“I always loved and respected his game. That’s the highest compliment you can pay. Larry’s the one player you fear, because he can beat you.

“This will be like old times. Both teams are riding high, playing well. It’ll be a war and a battle. Whoever’s left standing will win.”

That’s his heart talking. The Lakers might be riding high, but the Celtics have been unhorsed. They have lost five of six and they are circling the wagons.

When 37-year-old Robert Parish limped back on a sore ankle and two sore knees against the Pistons to help stop a four-game losing streak, Coach Chris Ford said, “You could have played the theme from ‘Rocky.’ ”

Friday night, Parish left the 22-point loss at Philadelphia with yet another sprain and they could have played the theme from “M*A*S*H.”

That’s the problem with a rivalry that dates back to the 1979 NCAA finals: They might have to wheel some of the participants to the starting gate.

Bicoastal Beantowners: A cult of Southern California Celtic fans who have lived for this game are going ahead with their party at Stats in Culver City, even in the absence of their fair knight.

“Gosh, I’m not looking forward to it,” said Lorenzo Benet, publisher of the Celtic Scene newsletter. “They should at least take Magic away to even things out.”

Ask Magic, you don’t always get it like you dream it.

Add aliens: It’s not easy being green in Los Angeles.

Said Benet: “When we first started the newsletter, we went to Laker and Clipper games to hand them out. People would scream and yell, take the newsletters out of our hands, rip ‘em up.”

Northern California was no more mellow. Benet and co-publisher Michael Arkush took some newsletters to a Red Sox-A’s playoff series in Oakland to find more West Coast Boston fans. An A’s fan complained to a security cop, who carted Arkush away and kicked him off the premises.

Comment: Such behavior is impolite, immature and inexcusable.

Further comment: Is this a great state or what?

News item: Portland gets Walter Davis.

Comment: What’s next? The San Antonio Spurs get Michael Jordan?

So far, the top five West teams--already good enough to average 57 victories last season--have added Davis, Danny Ainge, Xavier McDaniel, Jeff Malone, Paul Pressey, Sidney Green, Sam Perkins and Terry Teagle. That’s almost a team by itself, and the trade deadline isn’t until Feb. 21.

Laker reaction to the deal can be summed up in Clubber Lang’s fight prediction to Rocky: “Pain.”

Said Mike Dunleavy: “Walter can’t hurt them. I don’t see how he can hurt them.”

He had been trying to think of a way, too.

The Lakers have salary-cap complications, no No. 1 draft choice to deal and are playing well. They had been considered less and less likely to trade, even for the backup point guard they could use. (Scott Skiles, anyone?) But as Portland’s Ainge deal might have led the Lakers to Perkins and Teagle, the Davis move may persuade Jerry West he needs another trip to the supermarket.

More pain: Said Michael Jordan, who had tried since summer to bring his old idol, Davis, to Chicago: “Same old stuff.”

Jordan is not an admirer of Bull General Manager Jerry Krause, now preoccupied with signing Yugoslavia’s Toni Kukoc. The best offer Krause could think up for Davis was Dennis Hopson.

They don’t call it the Windy City for nothing: A lot of other Bulls would have loved going to the Denver Nuggets, or anywhere.

After a loss to the Nets in New Jersey, Horace Grant said his teammates had to stop being “selfish.”

Stacey King said he wants to be traded.

Will Perdue, noting that King then got more playing time, added his own long-awaited two cents: “It’s a situation where I become like everybody else and complain. . . . It seems like if you open your mouth, things happen.”

Aside from that, the Bulls are fine.

Notes

The Sacramento Kings’ Dick Motta, after breaking Jack Ramsay’s mark for most games coached: “Someone will be dumb enough to break this record one day.” . . . Even Del Harris gets the blues: After Milwaukee lost at Portland, the Buck coach complained, “We don’t seem to get any respect, even though we’ve won more than any team in the league except this one and Boston.” . . . The Bucks now also trail Chicago, Detroit, San Antonio and the Lakers and probably couldn’t find their respect with an electron microscope.

Did the Trail Blazers acquire Walter Davis simply to keep him away from San Antonio, Chicago and the Phoenix Suns? Davis is somewhat redundant in Portland with Danny Ainge around. Ainge is already worrying out loud about getting enough minutes. . . . Added bonus: The Trail Blazers got rid of $1.3-million-a-year Drazen Petrovic, whom they had no use for and whose agent peppered them with complaints about playing time. All in all, a no-lose proposition--unless it affects team chemistry.

Self-criticism is all-important: Dallas Maverick Coach Richie Adubato missed his own radio show to see “Godfather III.” . . . Said a Washington Bullet assistant coach to the Atlanta Constitution on the motivation behind Pervis Ellison’s 13-point, 13-rebound performance against the Hawks: “Wes (Unseld) threatened to kill him four times this week.”

J.R. Reid’s numbers have actually dropped since he got his long-coveted shift from center to power forward. Exasperated Charlotte Coach Gene Littles compared him to Darryl Dawkins, noting: “J.R. can play for a lot of coaches before his career is over.” . . . Upshot: Hornet owner George Shinn called him in for a meeting--Littles, not Reid. Shinn ordered the drafting of Reid. . . . They don’t call him Mr. Mean for nothing: Houston’s Larry Smith, a 33-year-old reserve forward playing center in Akeem Olajuwon’s absence, took 20 rebounds three times in five games.

He’s coming around: Rocket Coach Don Chaney, offended several weeks ago when Charlotte’s Littles sneered at his players, said after a loss in Sacramento: “We’re not any better than (the Kings) without Akeem.” . . . Only you, Terry Teagle: The Laker guard made nine shots in a row against Charlotte, went four for his next 19 in parts of four games, then threw in three in a row to start the fourth quarter against the Pacers in Indiana.