Bentzlin, a ‘Hero’ at Home Too, Is Honored : Marine: 75 well-wishers offer condolences in San Clemente to the family of a corporal killed in Khafji battle. His alcohol counseling touched many lives.

Carol Bentzlin did not cry as friends and strangers streamed by to offer their condolences on the death of her husband, one of the first Marines killed in action in the Persian Gulf.

“We’re all OK,” the widow said. “Everybody’s taking care of us. . . . There’s nothing else really to say.”

She paused, then added: “He’s my hero.”

Cpl. Stephen E. Bentzlin, 23, died Jan. 29 of shrapnel wounds, possibly inflicted by so-called “friendly fire.” He was one of 11 Marines killed during the ground skirmish near Khafji in northern Saudi Arabia.

He was honored Saturday at Camp Pendleton with memorial services, an honor guard, the presentation of the flag and a 21-gun salute.

Raised in Wood Lake, Minn., Bentzlin joined the Marine Corps at 18. He had been scheduled for discharge in April but asked for a six-month extension, then volunteered in August to go to the Persian Gulf.

He left his wife, 28, and three stepchildren, Ryan, Ricky and Michael Younce, who live south of San Clemente.

After the Camp Pendleton service, about 75 friends and well-wishers gathered for a reception at the San Clemente Community Center, on a street festooned with yellow ribbons.

Friends remembered Bentzlin as a quiet man who loved the Marine Corps, the Minnesota Vikings and John Wayne.

“He wanted to be a career Marine,” said a friend, who asked to be identified only by his first name, Dan. “He wanted to be the best Marine there was.

“You know, Steve was half Sioux Indian and half Swedish, and he had a lot of pride in his country and a lot of pride in the Marines. . . .

“I feel that Steve would have felt that what he did was in line with his beliefs, and his sacrifice was in accordance with his beliefs and his duty,” Dan said.

For one of Bentzlin’s friends, the service brought back memories of other military funerals.

“I’ve been to quite a few,” said Sam Keeney, a retired Marine sergeant who wore a fat stack of service ribbons on one side of his blue blazer and a big yellow ribbon on the other. “I was in Lebanon, and a lot of my friends were killed in the bombing on Oct. 23, 1983. . . . You never think it’s going to happen to someone you know.”

Like other friends, Keeney said he is not bitter that Bentzlin may have been killed by friendly fire. Military investigators are looking into whether some or all of the 11 Marines who died during the skirmish were killed by a missile fired by a U.S. ground-support aircraft during close-range fighting.

“It makes it a little bit more tragic,” he said. “I have a lot of mixed emotions. But . . . I know that accidents do happen in the military, like everywhere else.”

Many who remembered Bentzlin with deep affection were friends he had made through Alcoholics Anonymous. Dan, his sponsor in the group, said Bentzlin had celebrated his second anniversary of sobriety in Saudi Arabia.

Others, both Marines and non-Marines, said Bentzlin had helped them through recovery.

“He was like a big brother to me, took me under his wing and set a good example for me, ‘cause I was on a destructive path,” said Shane Jenkins, 20.

“I also believe with all my heart that if I hadn’t met Steve, I wouldn’t be here today. I wouldn’t be alive.”

Jenkins remembers that Bentzlin loved the beach, loved to sit drinking coffee and talking to friends and loved to go to Disneyland.

“He liked it so much, he said he wanted to live there,” Jenkins said. “After he got married, we didn’t see him too much. . . . He was always really concerned about how his kids were doing.”

For others, the reality was still sinking in.

“I knew, but it didn’t really hit me until I saw his picture on TV,” another friend said. “I’m glad I was alone. . . .

“He wanted to go out a hero. I think he did.”