Viewer Says Channel 13 Unlucky for Those Watching Marathon

When the Emmys are voted on in the fall, I hope Academy members won’t forget KCOP’s outstanding documentary, “How Not to Cover a Marathon.” From the flawlessly insipid prerace to the painful trailing off into the Pacific, the show brilliantly disclosed every facet of lackluster, viewer-unfriendly broadcasting. Among the more dazzling lowlights, useful for future television executives:

--Production: Why pay extra for a blimp or helicopter to shoot upward of 20,000 people running through L.A. when you can have interminable close-ups of the same person sweating and spitting and a fabulous motorcycle and sidecar?

--Direction: Don’t worry about missing minor events like the mayor’s welcome, half the national anthem, the women’s finish and second place, wheelchairs, walkers and masters. And by all means, build up the 5K, then show only five seconds of the finish and be unable to identify the winner.

--Casting: Hire in-studio anchors who have no presence and little information, then give them no help so they have to look and sound foolish apologizing for their inability to fill their time. Hire last year’s winner for on-course coverage, being certain she can breathlessly make the same shallow comments over and over again.

--Color: It’s deadly, don’t include any.

--Graphics: Make them simple, not helpful. Like a course map drawn by the producer’s grandson in yellow crayon.

On the positive side, however, I do congratulate KCOP for . . . (oops, cut to a politician or marathon executive gushing self-congratulations).

JOHN V. GERMAN

Los Angeles