They’d Get Few People to Drink to a State Law Like This One

Is there anything more frustrating than being ready to yield your virtue and then not getting the opportunity?

The subject here is beer, more precisely a new substrata of Michelob being road-tested in San Diego and five other western cities where affluent white-collar males, 21 to 34 years old, reside in abundance.

Two well-dressed men showed up on my office doorstep from Anheuser-Busch Inc. in St. Louis to sell me on the delights of Michelob Golden Draft and Michelob Golden Draft Light. I liked them right away.

Bob Goughenour, Michelob family brand director, explained the company’s zeal to provide “a terrific product at a reasonable price.” Klaus Zastrow, a senior brew master, used words like effervescence , life , snap and fullness .

On the table in front of me was a bottle of the new product: a slender neck, a rounded torso, the golden liquid shining, cool beads of condensation from head to toe.

I ran my finger slowly down the side of the frosty bottle and then to the tip of my tongue. I leaned forward.

That’s when Goughenour broke the bad news: California’s Alcoholic Beverage Control Act prohibits the free distribution of beer, except to designated wholesalers. I could look but I couldn’t taste.

The interview continued but, frankly, it went a bit flat.

What am I going to do with a media packet full of glossies and slides of Michelob? Give them to Norm Peterson, the “Cheers” beer guzzler, for Christmas?

It’s hard to muster enthusiasm for a beer that, for all I know, tastes like recycled water from the whale tank at Sea World, another Anheuser-Busch property.

In fury, I called Pete Case, administrator of the ABC office in San Diego. What kind of lunatic world prohibits a reporter from taking a beer bribe?

Simmer down, Case said, most ABC laws are pushed by industry lobbyists, as a way to keep their brewery brethren from gaining an advantage.

“Listen, my friend,” he said, “all we do is enforce what the Legislature passes. I wouldn’t have any part of passing some of this stuff.”

I’ll drink to that.

They’d Like to Keep Walking

It says here.

An estimated 2,000 inmates at the Richard J. Donovan Prison on Otay Mesa will take part in a 10-K walk-a-thon on Saturday to raise money for the Child Abuse Prevention Foundation.

Don’t worry, the walkers are restricted to the exercise yard.

Former San Diego Councilman Ed Struiksma is gearing up to run next year for the 75th Assembly District seat, now held by Dede Alpert (D-Solana Beach).

Press release from San Diego Councilman John Hartley: “Councilmember John Hartley decried what he called the ‘blatant, cynical, trading of votes’ by several councilmembers . . . .”

There are politics going on at City Hall? I’m shocked, do you hear me, shocked.

Capitol Focus, a Sacramento group that teaches people how to practice safe politics, is doing a fund-raising roast of Gov. Pete Wilson next Monday.

Among the roasters: Supervisor Susan Golding.

They’re One Up on the IRS

Lawyers, hookers and tax law.

The media has had a good yuck-yuck over the Camp Pendleton Marines who went to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada to collect on an offer of 24 hours of free fun.

Bordello operator Joe Conforte boasts that any losses the ranch incurs providing freebies to Operation Desert Storm troops can be taken off his taxes as a business expense.

Can the tax code be used to underwrite illicit whoopee?

Yes, says San Diego lawyer Judy E. Hamilton, who has nothing to do with Mustang Ranch but is a tax expert.

The cost of maintaining a business--salaries, utility bills, etc.--while providing free services can be deducted.

Hamilton said that Conforte, since his bordello is perfectly legal, can deduct his expenses while doing good deeds, much like a lawyer deducts expenses incurred while doing pro bono legal work.

Now there’s a comparison for you.