THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : Warriors Have Some Magic of Their Own

Homage to the Warriors: The East is stuck with that Boston-Detroit series, which looks like two old elk who have locked horns and are fighting about who leads.

In the West, we have struck it rich with the Warriors, the greatest entertainment value going since, uh, Showtime.

Enjoy it while you can because it’s an accident of history.

Don Nelson went to an open-floor, damn-the-torpedoes style two years ago after losing his centers to injury. He’d like more size so he could occasionally duke it out with the other big guys.

Basketball fans everywhere love his current edition.

Says Magic Johnson, asked about Warrior suggestions that Showtime is dead: “They’re more exciting than we are. We’re not going to sit here and lie about that. If we could be exciting and creative, we’d do that.

“Since we can’t he exciting, we’re just going to win.”

Bird at the Top of the Key: No, not the Celtic star.

A pigeon walked onto the Boston Garden parquet in Game 2 of the Detroit series and had to be shooed away while the crowd chanted “Lar-ry! Lar-ry!”

Bird, the man, back from his latest hospitalization, led the Celtics to another dramatic victory.

Out west, Magic Johnson, still hoping against hope for the dream--and longshot--Laker-Celtic finals, aches for his archrival.

“We want to be healthy,” Johnson says. “I wish it for him, and I’m sure he wishes it for me. He wants everybody to get a chance to see the real Larry Bird, and not someone who’s in and out of the hospital.

“It’s winding down for him, and it’s winding down for me.”

The Celtic-Piston matchup of two proud but broken-down dynasties has moved to Auburn Hills, but tune in for possible sequels:

Game 5--Bird, driven to Boston Garden via ambulance, carried to the floor on a stretcher while being given plasma, leads the Celtics to another dramatic victory.

Game 7--Bird, now pure energy, rises from the cracks in the parquet to lead the Celtics to another victory. Says Bird afterward via telepathy: “Ask Dennis Rodman how overrated I am now.”

Elephant Burial Ground: Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing and David Robinson were all ousted in the first round, signifying. . . .

What?

“Patrick Ewing, outta here,” says Warrior alternate center Jim Petersen. “Hakeem, outta here. David Robinson, gone. Jim Petersen, still going strong.

“Man, this is sweet.”

Says Houston’s Don Chaney: “It’s pretty amazing. I still think this is a big man’s game, but there are teams out there proving you can do it other ways.”

Actually, there aren’t. Even noting the Warriors’ accomplishments, they deserve to be remembered as a miracle and not a forerunner of the new basketball.

It is a big man’s game, which is why Nelson will spend the summer hunting 7-footers.

In the ‘60s, when a great 7-footer meant so much, there were fewer good big men. Twenty years ago Karl Malone, Kevin McHale, Hot Rod Williams, Shawn Kemp, Otis Thorpe, Roy Tarpley and Derrick Coleman would have been centers. Now they are forwards playing alongside bigger centers.

Check the tandems on these survivors:

Lakers--Vlade Divac (7-1, 230); Sam Perkins (6-9, 256).

Portland--Kevin Duckworth (7-0, 260), Buck Williams (6-8, 225).

Utah--Mark Eaton (7-4, 290), Karl Malone (6-9, 256).

Boston--Robert Parish (7-0, 230), Larry Bird (6-9, 220).

Detroit--Bill Laimbeer (6-11, 245), James Edwards (7-1, 263).

Chicago--Bill Cartwright (7-1, 245), Horace Grant (6-10, 220).

Philadelphia--Rick Mahorn (6-10, 255), Armon Gilliam (6-9, 245).

Future Shock: The San Antonio Spurs, everyone’s team of the ‘90s, are in a funk after their surprise exit at the hands of the Warriors.

Owner Red McCombs first declared it the coach’s responsibility, then met with Larry Brown and gave him “a strong vote of confidence.”

Things are so bad the Brown-Terry Cummings feud has faded into the background.

Now attention focuses on point-guard-with-a-death-wish Rod Strickland.

In five months, Strickland broke a thumb in an early morning fight outside a bar; was charged with indecent exposure; was fined $500 for breaking a midnight curfew before Game 2 of the Warrior series (in which he scored eight points); then stayed out until 6 a.m. the next night.

In Oakland, Spur coaches were reduced to knocking on players’ doors to enforce curfew.

McCombs may be loath to shake anything up. There is speculation he’s in money trouble and would sell. Salomon Bros., the brokerage firm that handled the Cowboy sale, has been authorized to provide Spur information to prospective bidders.

The Spurs did fire popular, long-time publicist Wayne Witt, but that isn’t expected to get them over any hump.

NBA Notes

Magic Johnson, asked how the thoroughbred he bought with Bruce McNall and Wayne Gretzky compared in price to Johnson’s soft-drink distributorship: “Less expensive, thank God. Pepsi is going to be around a long time. That horse won’t last that long.” . . . Last woof from the Larry Bird-Chuck Person duel from Bird: “We’ve had our run-ins, but I always get to have the last word.” . . . Anonymous Pacer to the Boston Herald: “We know Chuck’s wacko, but maybe that’s good. Look at Bird. You think he’s normal?” . . . First woof from the Bird-Dennis Rodman matchup from Rodman before Bird sat out Game 1: “He better not be running out of the tunnel in the third quarter. I don’t want to see any of that. . . .”

Hard to Get: Forget that Frank Layden to Miami speculation. Layden says he wants the Heat to call him and would need a heavyweight offer. Instead, Miami called Atlanta assistant Kevin Loughery and Heat assistant Dave Wohl. . . . Charles Barkley on one of his favorite themes: “Guys who flip fries know all about basketball. Do I tell them how to flip fries at Burger King? No.” . . . Hint for Barkley: Say a prayer for those people, they pay your $2.9-million salary. . . . Good News in South Bend: Says Notre Dame Coach John MacLeod, 53 and signed for five seasons: “I still like pro ball and I wouldn’t necessarily say this is the end of my pro career.” . . . The NBA Trainers Assn. will present Tom Lasorda auctioning off sports memorabilia June 2 at Hollywood Park. Proceeds go the Miami Project, a research effort for spinal cord injuries.

Johnson says that after he and Bird retire, they will start playing one-on-one in basketball, checkers, quoits or what have you. Says Johnson: “I’ll fly to French Lick, he’ll come to L.A. When we get to where we can’t play any more, we’ll be gumming each other.” . . . Larry Farmer, who went from Kuwaiti national coach to Warrior assistant: “In my career, you just kinda hold on and it takes you where it wants to go.”