The Trademark Is His, Copyrighted and All

This column is being simul-published during the Laker-Blazer playoff series in the Oregonian newspaper, which has me pretty upset. While I am grateful for this very decent exposure to the Oregonian--which is a publication far superior, by the way, to the nearby Nevadan or Idahoan--I am shocked and dismayed at the disrespect being accorded my copyrighted title.

Mike Downey TM is a fully licensed commercial trademark of this fully licensed commercial sportswriter, and the least this Portland paper could do is slap one of those little “TM” or circled “R” thing-a-majigs signifying that Mike Downey TM is a registered trademark, just in case any of these Trail Blazer basketball fans up here get any bright ideas about, you know, ripping me off.

See, the hot subplot to Portland’s success this season seems to involve a dispute over the property rights to “Rip City,” an expression popularized by Blazer broadcast voice Bill Schonely that now seems to appear on every T-shirt, automobile bumper, billboard, marquee and banner from here to Klamath Falls. I am not exactly sure what “Rip City” means, or if it is anywhere near New Jack City, or exactly who are the rippees but the phrase certainly did catch on.

Wedding ceremonies here reportedly now begin: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in Rip City to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.”

Residents of Rip City seem to have embraced the notion of creating a new identity, comparable to the Big Apple’s or Motown’s or Windy City’s or City of Brotherly Love’s. I hear up in rainy Seattle, civic officials are thinking of calling their town Drip City.

A ruckus, however, has developed over the objections of Portland Trail Blazer management to certain members of the general public trying to make a buck at the ballclub’s expense. Without the expressed permission of the team, and with total disregard for “official registration” of the trademarked names, many amateur and professional merchandisers have been reproducing the Rip City logo on their wares and peddling them for serious bread.

Well, some of Portland’s fans are really cheesed off because they believe the already prosperous Blazers should be a little less greedy. Counterpoint comes from Marshall Glickman, senior vice president of marketing for the team, who wrote to the Oregonian on behalf of the marketing interests that went through proper channels and on behalf of the club, which, he said, forwards most of the royalties from Rip City merchandise to various charity organizations.

This also goes for “Red Hot ‘n Rollin’,” another copyrighted slogan, Glickman said. I always thought Red Hot ‘n Rollin’ was the name of that guy you always see at sporting events in the rainbow wig.

Anyhow, down in La-La-Land we can empathize somewhat with this situation. Two years ago, when somebody--perhaps Coach Pat Riley himself--invented or uttered the phrase “Three-Peat,” much the same thing occurred. Riley promptly copyrighted this rallying cry, which represented the Lakers’ ambition to win three NBA championships in a row. But bogus “Three-Peat” junk became available on the street, like phony Rolex wristwatches in Korea.

Somebody told me Riley originally attempted to register the word “Showtime,” too. I don’t know if that is true, or if the cable TV network of that name objected or what. I only know that the Lakers failed to three-peat, and that Detroit’s Dennis Rodman is walking around with “Trilogy III” carved into his hair, now that the Pistons are going for three. (I am not sure if anybody has copyrighted Dennis Rodman’s actual head.)

Some of Portland’s fans are understanding; some are not. Outside the arena before last Saturday’s game, the Oregonian encountered 15-year-old Chris Karsseboon, who was selling T-shirts. One side read: “BEAT L.A.” The other side read: “NON-LICENSED FAN.”

Hey, I know how Chris feels. The nerve of some people. I am still not speaking to director Jonathan Demme for having named actor Matthew Modine’s character after me in the movie “Married to the Mob.” How would they like it if I wrote my stories under a byline that read: Matthew Modine ? I suspect that somewhere out there, an honest civilian named Hannibal Lecter feels exactly the same way.

Therefore, I, Mike Downey TM, copyrighted copy writer, expect equal and fair consideration in this all-important playoff controversy. Oh, and by the way, I also fully expect Laker fans at the Forum in Games 3 and 4 to chant: “Beat Rip City! Beat Rip City!” Do unto others as they would do unto you.