RITES OF PASSAGE

Tonight is Billy Garan’s breakthrough as a stand-up comic and a validation of a decision he made more than 10 years ago: to commit his life to laughter. After years of playing the comedy-club circuit, crisscrossing the country and living out of suitcases, Garan, 40, is making his national television debut on ABC’s “Into the Night.” In the greenroom, this little dynamo of a man anxiously awaits the call to go on stage and deliver in front of the biggest audience of his life.

“I’d say that most guys like me are looking for something they didn’t get as kids,” he confides. “They’re looking for some sort of fulfillment and acceptance. All my friends are grown up, and they’re doing business, and they’re buying homes, getting married, buying cars. And they look at me and say, ‘You’re still doing that comedy thing?’ like I’m out of my mind. But now, with the power of television, even people who are very wealthy or established will say, ‘Wow, he did it.’ It’s a stamp of approval. All of a sudden, you get something like this and you think, ‘Hey, I guess I’m OK.’ ”

Engelbert Humperdinck, the opening act, is just finishing up when the call comes. Billy’s on. He finds his mark and opens his quick-fire set. At first, the audience seems almost shocked by Billy’s wild gesticulations. He hits back with a bit on Rolex watches and a big laugh breaks through. Now he’s got them. Three minutes later, he’s finishing with a treatise on balding and gets a huge laugh, followed by applause. Ten years of dreams contained in 3 1/2 minutes. “I did it!” he shouts backstage, clasping his hands. “I really did it. It feels great. Now it’s under my belt. I’ll be on a high over this for some time.”

But Garan won’t be watching himself on TV tonight. “I can’t,” he says. “I always have it in my head that I’m this 21-year-old guy. When I look at myself, I say, ‘God, you’re overweight, you’re balding, you’re this, you’re that.’ Maybe someday I’ll get up the nerve.”