You know you’re in L.A. when ....

You know you’re in L.A. when . . .

You find this item on your menu at a Marie Callender’s restaurant:

“Ultra Slim-Fast Shake.”

The price is $4.50, in case any of you pie-eating dieters were wondering.

There it was, a gray Chevy minivan, gliding along on the Ventura Freeway with this professionally lettered message painted above its dented-in side:

“An accident no longer waiting to happen.”

We admire an L.A. driver who proudly exhibits his battle wounds.

A tale of two counties:

L.A.: Students at Cal State Northridge vote against allowing a Carl’s Jr. restaurant to open on campus, citing founder Carl Karcher’s conservative politics.

Orange: The Movieland Wax Museum in Buena Park unveils a likeness of Carl Karcher, the first hamburger-maker to be so honored there.

List of the Day:

The immortalizing of Karcher no doubt will spur the Hollywood Wax Museum to similarly honor one of L.A.’s food pioneers. Our nominees:

1--Lionel Sternberger, a Pasadena short-order cook who claimed to have invented the cheeseburger in the pre-cholesterol 1920s.

2--Ptomaine Tommy (real name: Tommy De Forest), inventor of the chili-”size” (or burger), at his U-shaped stand in Lincoln Heights more than a half century ago. Does anyone say “chili size” anymore?

3--Tommy Koulax, owner of 45-year-old Tommy’s World Famous Hamburgers on Beverly Boulevard, which has spawned numerous imitators (Tammy, Tonnie, Tommie), many of which Tommy has sued.

4--Laura Scudder of Monterey Park, creator of that great picnic dish for burger-eaters--potato chips--six decades ago. Yes, there really was a Laura Scudder.

5--Wolfgang Puck, a pizza chef who has managed to stay in business even though he doesn’t deliver in under or over 30 minutes.

The Goose Girl, a decorative feature of Hollywood Park until the title was abolished in 1974, is making a comeback at the Inglewood track. How excited should we be?

“She once was to Hollywood Park,” says a press release in breathless prose, “what you might say Tinker Bell is to Disneyland, the Rose Queen is to the Rose Parade, Miss America is to America, and Evita Peron is to Argentina.”

Don’t cry for her, Southern California.

miscelLAny:

The two busiest intersections in L.A. are Highland Avenue-Sunset Boulevard and Wilshire Boulevard-Veteran Avenue, each of which is crossed by about 128,000 vehicles per day. By contrast, the busiest in all of Orange County, the corner of Alicia Parkway and Muirlands Boulevard west of Mission Viejo, is visited daily by about 74,000 vehicles.