THE COLLEGES / MIKE HISERMAN : Help at Hand in 2-Year Schools

There are 298 men’s Division I basketball teams, 64 of which qualify for the NCAA’s lucrative postseason tournament.

“Hey!” chortles the infinitely wise president of our mythical school, “One in five! Those are pretty good odds!”

So we fill out the necessary paperwork, wade through the required probationary period and are less than nine months from our major-college christening at Duke next fall.

We do not have players, just a bankroll of scholarships thick enough to gag Dick Vitale. And we have a limited talent pool: By decree of the powers that be, recruits must hail from local junior colleges.

This is, indeed, unfortunate--but only because we are starting a year too late.

With last year’s crop of sophomores--Sam Crawford (Moorpark) at point guard, Tony Madison and J.R. Rider (both from Antelope Valley) on the wings, and Lester Neal (Ventura) at forward--we could have started any 6-foot-10 slug able to trot without tripping over his own high-tops in the middle and still won 20 games.

But Crawford and Madison are at New Mexico State, Neal plays for Arizona State and Rider has taken his act to Nevada Las Vegas.

Still, we could build a contender for next season by recruiting freshmen, although in doing so we run the risk of forever alienating our coaching colleagues at the two-year level.

Understanding that, we would start by stealing two freshman centers--6-10 Art Wallace of Oxnard and 6-9 Jason Joynes of Canyons.

Wallace can run, is a good shot-blocker and is a decent shooter inside 15 feet. Joynes, who at 260 pounds lumbers somewhat, is an Australian import who is as raw as the outback.

Neither is a great scorer although Wallace, from Chicago’s Crane High, is becoming more of a threat. He is averaging 11.7 points and 8.6 rebounds a game.

The operative word with Joynes is potential. He has a decent shooting touch but averages less than 10 points while grabbing only 5.5 rebounds a game.

Our forwards would be D.J. Jackson, a freshman from Antelope Valley, and Randy Brown, a sophomore from Valley.

Jackson, 6-8 and a great leaper, is “an offensive machine,” according to one opposing coach.

Another coach calls Jackson’s defense suspect but concedes that on offense “he delivers every game, even though everyone is out to stop him.” Jackson leads Foothill Conference players in scoring and rebounding, averaging 30 points and 12.7 rebounds.

Brown, 6-5 and also a king of spring, is the leading rebounder in the Western State Conference with an average of 12.3. Equally adept at driving the lane or shooting from three-point range, Brown scores at a 20.4 clip.

The top front-line reserve would be Michael Tate, a 6-5 freshman from Ventura with a solid all-around game. He averages 11.5 points and 7.2 rebounds despite a considerable size disadvantage.

Running our attack as point guard would be Shawn Talley, providing we could persuade Texas-Arlington to shred the letter of intent Talley signed in November.

Although he is only 5-11 and not particularly quick, Talley compensates with hard-nosed defensive play and solid floor leadership. “Without him, I’m not sure we could beat anybody,” said Oxnard Coach Remy McCarthy, whose Condors are 17-10.

Talley averages 17.7 points and is shooting 41.2% from three-point range.

Additional guard prospects include sophomores Chris Walters (17.8, four assists) of Antelope Valley and David Langley (17.6, 5.4 assists) of Canyons, and freshmen Stephane Brown (11.7 points) and Reggie Phillips (13.7) of Ventura.

Phillips is the perfect third guard in a small lineup. Although he is only 6-foot, his explosive leaping ability rivals Jackson’s, as do his thunderous alley-oop dunks.

For our starter at off-guard we would swallow hard and take a chance on Damian Wilson, a sophomore sharpshooter who recently was booted off Moorpark’s team.

Wilson, 6-2, has a jump shot that is as sweet as his attitude is sour. He was averaging 20.9 points and 6.6 rebounds before Coach Al Nordquist dismissed him last week, citing recurring discipline problems.

The thought here is that Wilson might warm to a stronger supporting cast and toe the line for Philip Mathews of Ventura, the assistant we would hire to indoctrinate defense and mandate discipline.

Mathews’ Ventura teams typify the phrase “in-your-face defense,” and, if nothing else, his habit of stomping his feet and squealing instructions in a tenor tirade is an act made for television.

Finally, since we cannot go with solely the local guys forever, for the recruiting coordinator we go with McCarthy, the wily Oxnard coach who somehow managed to lure Wallace and Talley out from Chicago and persuade them to enroll at a school without a gymnasium.

All things considered, not a bad group.

All we need now is a conference affiliation, an arena full of loyal fans and, oh, a real school.