CALENDAR GOES TO THE OSCARS : OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH QUIZ

After 63 years of Academy Awards ceremonies, practically everyone around the world has an Oscar acceptance speech ready if he or she should get lucky. This mixture of pride and panic has resulted in memorable expressions of gratitude that help to make the annual Oscar show enjoyably human spectacle. Here are some of the most noteworthy. (Answers appear on Page 10.) 1. “Holy mackerel!” a) Patty Duke, supporting actress, “The Miracle Worker” (1962) b) Shelley Winters, supporting actress, “A Patch of Blue” (1965) c) Meryl Streep, supporting actress, “Kramer vs. Kramer” (1979) 2. “I was just thinking that if New York is the Big Apple, to me, Hollywood tonight is the Big Nipple.” a) Jayne Mansfield, accepting Cecil Beaton’s costume design award for “Gigi” (1958) b) Warren Beatty, director, “Reds” (1981) c) Bernardo Bertolucci, director, “The Last Emperor” (1987) 3. “I’d love to kiss even Louis B. Mayer.” a) Judy Garland, special juvenile Oscar (1939) b) George Cukor, director, “My Fair Lady” (1964) c) Mickey Rooney, special Oscar (1982) 4. “It’s always nice to win an Oscar but in the past he has shown he is very forgetful and has poor timing.” a) Rosalind Russell, accepting Helen Hayes’ supporting actress award for “Airport” (1970) b) Ingrid Bergman, supporting actress, “Murder on the Orient Express” (1974) c) Eletha Finch, accepting her late husband Peter Finch’s actor award for “Network” (1976) 5. “I guess this proves there are as many nuts in the academy as anywhere else.” a) Vivien Leigh, actress, “A Streetcar Named Desire” (1951) b) Groucho Marx, special Oscar (1973) c) Jack Nicholson, actor, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (1975) 6. “I certainly didn’t expect this or I would have been sure to wear black socks.” a) Jonathan Winters, accepting Peter Ustinov’s supporting actor award for “Topkapi” (1964) b) George Jessel, Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award (1969) c) Steven Wright, live action short, “The Appointments of Dennis Jennings” (1988) 7. “I tried to get my kid to come up here to share this with me.” a) Bing Crosby, actor. “Going My Way” (1944) b) Joan Crawford, actress. “Mildred Pierce” (1945) c) Louis Gossett Jr., supporting actor, “An Officer and a Gentleman” (1982) 8. “I’m thrilled, happy, delighted--sober!” a) Annette Funicello, accepting Hayley Mills’s special juvenile Oscar (1960) b) Liza Minnelli, actress, “Cabaret” (1972) c) Maureen Stapleton, supporting actress, “Reds” (1981) 9. “This couldn’t have happened to a nicer fella.” a) Walter Brennan, supporting actor, “Come and Get It” (1936) b) John Wayne, accepting Gary Cooper’s actor award for “High Noon” (1952) c) Ben Johnson, supporting actor, “The Last Picture Show” (1971) 10. “I pledge to you that I will continue to fight against anti-Semitism and fascism” a) Victor Fleming, director, “Gone With the Wind” (1939) b) Dalton Trumbo, motion picture story, “The Brave One” (1956) c) Vanessa Redgrave, supporting actress, “Julia” (1977) 11. “This is too much.” a) Audrey Hepburn, actress, “Roman Holiday” (1953) b) Julia Phillips, picture. “The Sting” (1973) c) Carly Simon, song, “Working Girl” (1988) 12. “Uh ... that’s a clever opening.” a) Frank Sinatra, supporting actor, “From Here to Eternity” (1953) b) Marlon Brando, actor, “On the Waterfront” (1954) c) William Hurt, actor, “Kiss of the Spider Woman” (1985) 13. “This particular choice may perhaps be found by future generations as a trifle eccentric, but the mere fact of it--the prodigal, pure, human kindness of it--must be seen as a beautiful star in that firmament which shines upon me at this moment, dazzling me a little. ... “ a) Mortimer Snerd, accepting Mickey Rooney’s special juvenile Oscar (1938) b) James Stewart, actor, “The Philadelphia Story” (1940) c) Laurence Olivier, special Oscar (1978) 14. “There’s a great deal to say, but I’m not going to say it tonight.” a) Greer Garson, actress, “Mrs. Miniver” (1942) b) Jane Fonda, actress, “Klute” (1971) c) Marlee Matlin, actress, “Children of a Lesser God” (1986) 15. “I know you Americans are famous for your hospitality, but this is really ridiculous.” a) Julie Andrews, actress, “Mary Poppins” (1964) b) Ingmar Bergman, Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award (1970) c) Ben Kingsley, actor, “Gandi” (1982) 16. “I didn’t expect this to happen quite yet.” a) Sidney Poitier, actor, “Lillies of the Field” (1963) b) Lillian Gish, special Oscar (1970) c) Faye Dunaway, actress, “Network” (1976) 17. “Mommy, can we go home now?” a) Shirley Temple, special juvenile Oscar (1934) b) Ginger Rogers, actress, “Kitty Foyle” (1940) c) Ronald Reagan, welcoming address (1980)

ANSWERS: 1. c 2. c 3. c 4. b 5. c 6. a 7. c 8. c 9. c 10. c 11. a 12. a 13. c 14. b 15. a 16. c 17. a