Woody, Mia Wear Their Hearts on Their Backs

In the new flick “Husbands and Wives,” we were struck by Woody Allen and Mia Farrow’s penchant for dressing down . . . way down, as they play out their lives of quiet desperation. Of course we know their love affair with reverse chic is nothing new. For years, we’ve seen them sport their drab, rumpled clothing in movies and in their private lives. Why this infatuation with the lost-soul look?

SHE: I felt overdressed as I watched the movie. There I sat, neat hair, pressed jeans, gold buttons blazing on my Chanel-style black sweater, and there was Mia, all messy-haired and tossed together as she entertained friends in her Manhattan apartment.

I was struck by how cerebral they seemed, with their obvious disdain for fashion. And I began to wonder: Does my love of looking good make me out to be a mental lightweight?

HE: No, it makes you a Californian. About a half-hour into the movie, I was beginning to wonder if everybody in the cast was getting their clothes at L.L. Bean, and then it struck me: Look at the weather. There wasn’t a single sunny scene in the entire film, apart from a quick flashback to summer in the Hamptons. Dreary, rotten Manhattan. It kept raining on everybody. You don’t battle the elements in a Chanel.

SHE: But I suspect if they were on the beach at Waikiki, Woody would be in tobacco-colored corduroys and Mia would be in an olive-drab T-shirt. The look is so anti-romantic, so mud hen! In an article about them in New York magazine, the writer says: “About the only thing they seem to have in common is their penchant for schlumpy clothes.”

I think they’re trying to tell us they’re intellectual .

HE: I don’t think it’s that. You have to remember, as the credits roll, that there’s someone who’s hired to dress everyone in the cast just so. It’s a lot easier to be Angst- ridden in a baggy Aran sweater than a breezy print dress. Woody can’t properly torture himself if he’s wearing bright colors.

SHE: Don’t forget, they wear the same clothes in real life. Their “schlumpy” look was all over the newspapers a few weeks ago. I wouldn’t be caught dead looking so tortured.

HE: Hey, sometimes it helps. I’ve got a baggy Aran sweater and when I put it on and go out and walk around in the mist for a while, I end up writing like Yeats. Or if it’s really heavy mist, Kafka. On the other hand, I’m afraid that if I wear Day-Glo T-shirts and baggy print warm-up pants I’ll start sounding like a Hallmark card.

SHE: I wear a lot of black, not because I’m wanting to write like Poe, but because it makes me feel sophisticated. Confident. But mostly I go for bright colors, hues that make me feel good.

HE: Clothes have an immense effect on your mood and outlook. Go to the Renaissance Faire in costume and I dare you not to speak like an Elizabethan. Every guy in a tux feels like Cary Grant. Every woman in a gorgeous gown feels like Princess Di. Woody and Mia dress like mushroom farmers, and their shrinks take vacations in Cap Ferrat. Figure it out.

SHE: In the movie, Woody (Gabe) says he picked Mia (Judy) for a wife because she was “solid and decent . . . not crazy.” It looks like they pick their clothing for the same reasons. They seem to care more about being heard than seen. And it works for the downbeat theme of “Husbands and Wives.”

But in real life, solid and decent could just as easily mean a navy-blue blazer and burgundy tie. Or a stylish skirt and sweater. Their doom-and-gloom silhouettes get me down.

HE: I think it probably gets them down too. In real life, Woody always seems like he’s mooning around in his own Bergman film in that floppy hat that makes him look like a skinny toadstool. And Mia isn’t exactly leading a June Cleaver life either.

They, and their clothes, were perfect for “Husbands and Wives.” It was a film about people falling out of love with each other and feeling progressively more terrible about it all. And the clothes ratcheted that murk up several notches. Everybody’s wearing earth-tone sweaters and huddling in corners and getting rained on. I wanted to run straight out and buy a few gross of fluorescent aloha shirts and go to brunch at Las Brisas.

There’s prejudice at work here, though. A love of knowledge and an appreciation of intellectual accomplishment and wit shouldn’t doom you to shapeless, colorless clothes. Since when is presenting a pleasant exterior to the world an admission of anti-intellectual vanity? There are a lot of smart people out there who know how to look good in their clothes. The Woodman, however, isn’t one of them.