Southland Teams Beat the Odds

I nearly fainted Sunday. Don’t worry. Nothing serious. It was simply a reaction I had after the Rams, Raiders and Chargers all played football games--and won! Southern California mathematicians tell me this is maybe a zillion to one.

The Rams defeated Ray Handley’s New York Giants, 38-17. Handley probably blamed the media. Handley blames the media when there’s no hot water in the shower.

The Raiders defeated Tom Flores’ Seattle Seahawks, 19-0. Flores probably blamed nobody. Flores has seen the Seahawks play football for weeks now. Flores probably was pleased to come within 20 points.

The Chargers defeated the Whoever Coaches Them’s Indianapolis Colts, 34-14. I believe Ray Handley also blamed this on the media.

Anyway, how about that?

Not only did the Rams, Raiders and Chargers all win on the same day--they all won by at least three touchdowns! All three can claim they they won and won big, sort of like Bush, Clinton and Perot after a debate. All three can proudly look other football teams in the eye now and say: “You don’t have us to kick around anymore.”

Combine these games with San Francisco’s 56-17 rout of Atlanta and, hey, guess what? California’s NFL teams outscored the opposition last Sunday, 147-48. It’s like a whole new world out there for our pro football fans--the few, the proud. We can show our faces in public now. We can say: “Yes, that is my team out there.” Why, someday we might even pack more than 50,000 people into those stands!

California, here we come, babe. Next thing you know, the L.A. Kings will be in first place.

I must admit, I had serious doubts about Southern California’s professional teams as recently as a few weeks ago. But now I definitely see hope. Maybe not enough hope that I would pick the Raiders to defeat the Dallas Cowboys come Sunday. Then again, the game is going to be played at the L.A. Mausoleum, and the Cowboys might be rattled by trying to call signals in all that silence.

For a team that was 0-4, the Raiders sure are reborn. What made them go from bad to good?

OK. Forget that quarterback business for a minute. (Even though Todd Marinovich does have a winning record this season--ha, ha; I told ya, I told ya.) What turned the Raiders around was something I have recently begun to notice, and if a midseason change in assistant coaches is responsible, then let’s hear it for change.

Has anyone noticed how cleverly conservative the Raider offense has become? How they call running plays on third and long, or even on third and medium? Know why? Because somebody obviously figured out that the Raider defense--led not by Greg Townsend or Howie Long or Ronnie Lott but by this dangerous man-eating tiger Anthony Smith--is so strong, the only thing that can kill the Raider defense is the Raider offense.

All those reckless passes, all those momentum-killers that kept the defense on the field too long and tuckered it out, have wrecked the Raiders in game after game. This team would have been 2-0 instead of 0-2, had it not been for the offense’s carelessness.

And now that Townsend’s torso is rounding into shape and Aundray Bruce’s career is rounding into shape, the Raider defense is even better. Terry McDaniel is a star. Nolan Harrison is turning into a star. Riki Ellison is playing like one. Anthony Smith is, well, scary. And who knows? Before you know it, we might even have a reported sighting of Chester McGlockton.

The Rams have won three games--equaling last season’s total. Chuck Knox, coach of the year.

OK, kidding aside, the Rams have had the advantage of a soft schedule. But so what? Playing the Rams used to give teams a “soft” schedule. Knox has done much without doing much--he has the same quarterback, same running back, same receivers and same kicker from a 3-13 team. And yet these guys mangled a Giant team that in January of 1991 won the Super Bowl.

On defense, Kevin Greene is as good as he has ever been, which means he’s great. Sean Gilbert, who is built like a volcano, finally is rewarding the Rams for drafting him. His sack dance alone, the Sean Shuffle, is enough to wake up the fans.

A downside for the Rams, Raiders and Chargers? Well, just when things were improving, some important people--Marinovich, Ram safety Michael Stewart, Charger running back Rod Bernstine--got hurt. Bernstine ran for 150 yards Sunday. He made it a rare good day for this Win-of-the-Month club. If one more San Diego quarterback or running back gets hurt, this team is going to be recruiting from the Frankfurt Galaxy.

But, no complaints.

To misquote Vince Lombardi, winning isn’t the most important thing. It’s the most unusual thing.