PRACTICAL VIEW : Clear, Concise, Clever Are Keys to Wills

“You love your children more than anything.

“You would do anything for them. But have you?”

So begins “A Parent’s Guide to Wills and Trusts (for Grandparents Too),” an excellent book published earlier this year by Adams Hall Publishing ($11.95). It is written by Los Angeles lawyer Don Silver.

In a friendly, easy-to-read, question-and-answer format, this 247-page book makes the process of completing a will or trust easier and guides readers through the many decisions that face parents or grandparents as they plan their estate.

“Part of the responsibility of being a parent is to deal with our own passing,” Silver writes. It’s a taboo topic. People don’t like to talk about it, but if you’ve got a family, you no doubt have lots of questions, and Silver takes them on, one by one.

Unlike so many books in this field, this is not a self-help or do-it-yourself book. Silver strongly counsels use of a lawyer to prepare a trust or will, but uses the book to prepare readers for the decisions they’ll need to make, and to educate them about tax laws, probate rules, financial planning and such practical advice as what to keep in a safe-deposit box.

What also differentiates this book from others of its ilk written by lawyers is the writing itself. It is clear. It is concise. It is clever.

A few examples:

* A vintage wine may mellow and an old will may yellow, but only one of them may be easy to swallow.

* Can your burial site affect taxes? Maybe. You can’t even rest in peace.

* This is not a society where people are shy about suing. . . . Ask your liability insurance agent about umbrella insurance. That way you may not get soaked when a bit of rain pours into your life.

* A living trust is a legal document spelling out the management and distribution of your assets while you are alive and after you die. Once you pass away, a living trust is like a will in that it says who gets what and when. (One of the most easily understood definitions of a living trust we’ve seen.)

The book begins with Silver’s seven biggest myths about trusts and estates:

* Joint tenancy is always the best way for parents and children to hold title together to avoid probate.

* I signed my will so long ago that it’s not good anymore.

* Thank goodness my ex-spouse cannot inherit my assets.

* By signing a new will, I will automatically override the beneficiaries named on my life insurance, IRAs and retirement plans.

* Because the laws are the same everywhere in the United States, a will or trust will work the same everywhere.

* Last-minute gifts by terminally ill persons always save taxes.

* Life insurance is automatically exempt from death tax.

He takes on each of these myths in his question-and-answer format, clarifying and explaining how and when they might or might not be true. For example, although life insurance proceeds are, in fact, counted as part of your taxable estate, he tells of two ways to keep the proceeds from being taxable: have an “irrevocable life insurance trust” or have your children own, apply for and pay for the life insurance policy.

Don’t skip the appendix. It is loaded with good, non-legal, practical advice, including federal death tax rates and a description of a letter of instruction, which tells your surviving family about your preferred funeral arrangements, the location of important papers and who to notify.

The appendix ends with a summary of an “ethical will,” which allows you to leave something besides a monetary inheritance to your children.

“We don’t often take the time to put on paper what values we hold as our ideals. Perhaps the best will to leave to your children is an ethical will,” observes Silver.

“Tell your children the values you hold deepest, the most important lessons you’ve learned in life, your favorite sayings, special family expressions and the religious or secular writings you hold dearest to your heart. You might tell of mistakes you’ve made and, sometimes, even ask for forgiveness. This might be the time to finish unfinished business.”

Ever the lawyer, Silver urges his readers to share the ethical will with their lawyers to be sure it does not “contain material that might upset the apple cart of your monetary estate plan.”