Air Jordan Easier Than Fresh-Air Fred

Fred Couples is frustrated by the demands of fans at golf tournaments seeking his autograph and cutting down on his practice time.

Couples even went so far as to say Michael Jordan has it easier.

“If I was going to watch a Chicago Bulls’ game, I’d love to watch Michael Jordan,” Couples said. “I probably wouldn’t even watch half of the other players. Even if he didn’t have the ball I’d watch him.

“I think it is only normal, but you have to understand that Michael Jordan is on a court where nobody is going to bother him. Golf is one of the easiest sports to get in a player’s face. When I’m done, you have to get through the crowd to get to the locker room. He runs right into the locker room. I think it’s a little simpler.”

Why not run to the locker room, Fred?

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Trivia time: How many consecutive dual track meets did USC win over UCLA before the Bruins won for the first time in 1966?

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Fill-in manager: Pitcher Bob Walk asked Pirate Manager Jim Leyland to sign a baseball for Walk’s nephew.

“He said he only wanted the stars,” Walk told Leyland. “Jay Bell, Andy Van Slyke, Tim Wakefield. I thought I’d get yours on it just to fill out the ball.”

While signing the ball, Leyland replied: “Yeah, that’s why I pitch you every fifth day. Just to fill out the rotation.”

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Pro attitude: Kansas City Chief fans are euphoric now that Joe Montana is with the club and has been named the starting quarterback next season.

Not so thrilled, perhaps, is Dave Krieg, the Chiefs’ incumbent No. 1 quarterback. However, he greeted the arrival of Montana with professional grace.

“If Joe Montana takes us to the Super Bowl, the ring is going to fit just the same,” Krieg said. “I would think if you brought Joe Montana in, he would be the quarterback. I can live with it. I’m not going to die.”

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Add Montana: Columnist Art Spander of the San Francisco Examiner, writing on the 49ers’ attempt to retain Montana:

“If they named Montana ‘designated starter,’ what were they going to call Steve Young, ‘designated martyr?’

“The 49ers say Young agreed to all this lunacy. The next thing they’ll tell us, Saddam Hussein is observing Passover.”

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Cheer, cheer: From Joe Muench of the El Paso Herald-Post: “The El Paso Diablos of the Class-AA Texas League have taken the first step toward managing on tape.

“When the guys trail going into the bottom of the ninth, the computer operator punches up John Belushi’s pep talk from the movie, ‘Animal House,’ over the sound system. It’s a takeoff on Knute Rockne’s famous halftime speech at Notre Dame.”

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Trivia answer: Thirty-three. Note: UCLA is 20-5 against USC since 1966.

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Quotebook: John Salley of the Miami Heat, who may miss the rest of the season because of a foot injury: “I’ll see you next summer. I’m through being a hero. A hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich.”