The Doo Dah’s wildest act--the spectators: You...

The Doo Dah’s wildest act--the spectators: You may recall that Pasadena outlawed tortilla-tossing after entrants in the Doo Dah Parade complained of being pelted by the flour and corn missiles.

“The fresh ones didn’t hurt,” explained Peter Apanel, founder of the 18-year-old event. “It’s the recycled ones--hardened after four or five throws--that hurt.”

Now, the increasingly unruly crowds have prompted Apanel to take new security measures to protect the marching stewardesses, the chain-saw-massacre drillers, human condoms and so on.

He’s going to fence off this November’s spectacle, charge admission ($7 advance or $10 at the gate) and limit attendance to 5,000 (an estimated 40,000 showed up some years).

Apanel is dismayed to see “our traditional supporters sort of being pushed aside” by more violent types.

“Our Synchronized Briefcase Drill Team, for example, says that spectators have been viciously attacking them verbally and even swinging at them,” he said. “Here, the Briefcase Team is spoofing itself and the image of corporate business, and these idiots in the stands are yelling at them, ‘You ----. You think you’re so ---- great.’ I mean, they don’t even understand satire at that level.”

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Where there’s no smoke: Robert Blees of West L.A. points out that nonsmokers in the City of Angels are sure being catered to these days--even in that citadel of puffers, Las Vegas. The Desert Inn’s Crystal Room is running ads here announcing a new no-smoking policy.

And the first act to appear in the Crystal Room after the change was instituted? Why, Smokey Robinson, of course.

All we want to know is whether the Century Freeway will be finished by then: In what direction is L.A. headed? Toward Seattle. And past Seattle, apparently.

Dave Lindell of Hacienda Heights forwards this excerpt from Kenneth C. Davis’ “Don’t Know Much About Geography’:

“Contrary to popular belief--and perhaps some wishful thinking on the part of anti-Californians--California is not destined to slide into the Pacific Ocean.

“Instead, it will be dragged, kicking and screaming, to the north. Computer projections plotting the location of the (earth’s) plates in 50 million years at present rates of movement put Los Angeles in the vicinity of Anchorage. Just think of it. La-La, Alaska.”

Or the more formal title of Los Anchorage.

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Which may explain the snowy off-ramp on the Ventura Freeway: When KNX radio traffic reporter Jim Thornton heard the report of white stuff on Zoo Drive, he thought it unlikely (especially in August). But it was true. The source turned out to be a film company’s snow machine. L.A., even at more than 2,000 miles south of Anchorage, is still pretty flaky.

miscelLAny:

If you haven’t been nominated for a star on Hollywood Boulevard, you can have your name sandblasted on a brick in a wall at the Santa Monica Heritage Museum. The cost: $30. If you’re hungrier for more fame, the museum has a special: You can be immortalized on four bricks for $100.