Rooting for Buccaneers Is a Lost Cause

Tampa Bay could be called the NFL’s futility franchise. Since the Buccaneers joined the league in 1976, they have an 0-33 record against nine teams:

Dallas, 0-8; San Diego, 0-5; Cleveland and Pittsburgh, 0-4; New England and Washington, 0-3, and Denver, Seattle and the Raiders, 0-2.

Moreover, Tampa Bay has won only once against another bunch of teams: San Francisco, 1-10; New York Jets, 1-5; Miami, 1-4, and Cincinnati and Houston, 1-3.

Not surprisingly, the Buccaneers have 10 consecutive seasons of 10 or more defeats.

Curiously, they are 4-2 against Buffalo, a three-time Super Bowl team. Go figure.

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Trivia time: Who was the first Dodger to be voted most valuable player of the National League championship series?

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What’s happening? From Bob Smizik of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette:

“It’s hard to believe the Angels are thinking of signing Vince Coleman. But any team that would sign (Joe) Magrane for the kind of money the Angels did is capable of doing anything. Maybe someone should get Angels’ GM Whitey Herzog out of the sun.

“Bernie Miklas of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch described Magrane as a ‘vain, pompous, gutless, weak-armed, universally unpopular clubhouse toxin.’ Tell us what you really think Bernie.”

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Goodby, Bo? From Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune: “If Bo Jackson ever comes to bat again for the (White) Sox, it should only be for poster art or reunions.”

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Now we know: From columnist Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post on the Redskins, who have a 1-4 record:

“Since 1961, the Redskins have had only two winning seasons when a Democrat was president and they’ve never gone to the playoffs.

“Under a Republican president, they’ve had 17 winning seasons, gone to the playoffs 13 times, and won three Super Bowls.

“So it’s not (Coach Richie) Petitbon.

“Geez, it’s (President) Clinton.”

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Grubby leader: From Steve Jacobson of Newsday: “He still looks like Bart Simpson with his knotty blond hair and an expression of impudence. He uses his shirt to wipe the tobacco juice from his chin.

“His beard is constant stubble, his uniform is dirty and he plays the game in a go-to-hell scramble. Lenny Dykstra is a leader on this (Philadelphia) team, dude.”

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Sic ‘em: The NFL has relented and has approved the nickname Hound Dogs for the prospective NFL franchise in Memphis.

“We don’t see a wimpy little hound dog logo.” Presley Enterprises spokesman Tom Morgan said. “It will be rough and tough, just like Elvis.”

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FYI: Sport magazine in its NBA preview edition picks the Clippers and Lakers to finish fifth and sixth, respectively, in the Pacific Division, leaving last place to the Sacramento Kings.

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Trivia answer: Dusty Baker in 1977.

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Quotebook: New York Jet Coach Bruce Coslet, when asked a two-part question during a news conference: “One question at a time. Maybe Bill Clinton can handle it, but I went to the University of Pacific.”