South Bend lags behind locals in rankings:...

South Bend lags behind locals in rankings: That’s right. South Bend, Ind., was rated No. 61 in the nation, far behind Los Angeles-Long Beach (No. 27), in the newest list of the best areas to live compiled by the “Places Rated Almanac.” Obviously, it doesn’t take quality of college football into account.

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Chevy Chase returns: Yes, the returns of our contest to rename the Chevy Chase Theater in Hollywood are in, barely a week after his talk show was canceled.

We liked Sidney Reznick’s concept of a Dear Chevy, We’re Here and You’re Not Theater, but weren’t sure if the building was wide enough to accommodate the name. Ditto for Marcia Pryor’s The Still Not Ready for Prime Time Theater.

John Giza deserves special mention for contributing Chevy Chafed Theater as well as Chevy Chased Theater. But our winner is Seaman Jacobs, who will be awarded a suitable treasure from Only in L.A.’s Cave of Wonders--an uncorrected, unautographed manuscript of “The Rock & Roll Cookbook.”

Jacobs was one of many to nominate Chevy Chased Theater but triumphed in a tiebreaker by asking: “Any truth to the rumor that Chevy Chase, Md., may change its name to David Letterman, Md.?

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Thanks--we’ll make a note of it: Rhonda Malmlund of MCA sent along an important notice the company received from BFI Waste Systems, its trash company.

“In an effort to keep costs down, reduce the number of large vehicles operating within your community and work around landfill operation hours,” BFI said, “it is necessary to change your scheduled pickup day from

“Monday,

“to

“Monday.”

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Warning of the day: Phil Wickey snapped a photo of a sign that seemed to indicate that lazy workers at one South Bay auto dealership better shape up.

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A bargain at twice the price: Tom Leech, meanwhile, came across a mail-order catalogue that took the reverse approach in its sales pitch.

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UCLA Law: Fans attending the UCLA-Washington football game at the Rose Bowl were asked to surrender their umbrellas before entering. Security precautions, you know. (After all, who knows whether an excited fan might use his parasol to fly Mary Poppins-like onto the field?) At one gate, spectators were instructed to put the umbrellas into a trash can. “It’s Rose Bowl policy,” a Pasadena cop said. “All I do is enforce policy.”

But apparently not the law. By game’s end, the umbrellas had been stolen.

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Ocean’s 2: Art Vinsel of San Pedro thought the recent wedding site of Paul Boland and Marlise Ricardos was most appropriate, considering the groom’s occupation. Boland is a comic/impressionist whose credits include headlining for a cruise line. The nuptials were held at a Catholic church--Mary Star of the Sea.

miscelLAny:

UC Santa Barbara was No. 2, USC was No. 12 and UCLA was No. 13 in the list of the “most fun” colleges and universities released by Inside Edge, a national magazine produced by college students. Oral Roberts University (No. 293) was rated one of the “least fun.”