THE SOUTHLAND FIRESTORM: A SPECIAL REPORT : EYEWITNESS : STELLA RUDNIK and JOE PHILIPSON: Couple : ‘This Is Life, and Life Has These Things in It’

Stella Rudnik, an assistant to a federal judge, and Joe Philipson, a consulting chemist, had been comfortable friends for decades and were widowed about the same time . Four years ago, Stella and Joe, both 75, were married, bought a house and started a new future. Their house was razed by the Altadena fire, but, insists Stella Rudnik Philipson, their future was untouched. *

Today, Joe borrowed shoes and a racquet and played tennis because we’re trying to keep a little bit of structure in our lives. It also gives him a good excuse for having a bad game.

We haven’t lost our sense of humor. You just go on living and make another chapter in your life. And that’s what we’re doing, turning a page.

We had a gorgeous two-story house with four bedrooms and four baths and bought this big house because we have so many children and grandchildren.

We had 15 minutes to pack. All I did--and I must say I was real good in an emergency--was grab my jewelry and throw it in my purse and put on my oldest, schleppiest clothes. I grabbed the pictures of the children when they were children, our mothers and fathers, and Joe’s wife Amy and my husband Sam, and carried them out to the car.

We went below us, to where Joe’s son David lives, thinking we would be safe, but flames were coming that way. And now David’s house has gone in a very cruel father-and-son thing.

As my dear friend said to me: “When the story of your life is written, it will not be humdrum.”

We have been back to the house and now it is just chimneys. I felt sadness and resignation, I guess. We found a couple of things. I had a very beautiful, handmade metal sculpture and it was still hanging on what was left of a brick fireplace.

I’m not angry about how the fire started. What upsets me is that there had to be someone who was homeless, who had to make a fire, and that we have come to the state where this kind of situation exists. I used to walk in Eaton Canyon in the mornings and I would see homeless people living there and they were cooking breakfast.

You can’t blame them. What we have to do is make our society more livable.

Where do we start at 75? Oh, I don’t know. You just do what you have to do. This is life, and life has these things in it. We’re lucky we have each other because we have a warm, wonderful relationship and can go through this together, not separately.

I am very sad about the treasures we have lost, such as an afghan that was made for me when I was married 50 years ago. Every time the kids got sick they’d have to go on the couch with the afghan. The first thing my children said to me was: “Did you get the afghan?” I told them, “No, I didn’t. But now you guys won’t have to fight to see who gets it.”

We’re living in a house that Sam and I lived in. When Joe and I got married I had this house. That was a bit weird and Joe asked me if I was OK about him living here with me.

Actually, it is kind of good for me to be here because it has the warmth and the love that I had with Sam. Now it’s just got some more. It’s like having another child. You don’t stop loving one child because you get another. There’s just more love involved.

At least I know now where I used to keep this and I used to keep that.

I have no idea why I don’t feel sorry for myself. But I’ve had a very good life and intend to continue it. We’re going to have our Thanksgiving dinner here and I’m going to rent some tables and borrow some tablecloths and we’re just going to do it and make this a happy place.

In a way, it’s a challenge. I think everything is relative. I’ve had worse losses than this. I lost my husband whom I dearly loved and my life was just decimated. But I came back.

This is a loss. But we’ll come back.