VERBATIM

A recent press release hot off the fax:

“Brian Vidor, owner of the Typhoon out at Santa Monica Airport, reports his bar is doing a big business in ‘Big Chiews,’ a drink made with rare Chinese herbs seeped in vodka for six weeks, since sports section stories from the Seventh National Games in Beijing tell of all the track records being broken. In them, a woman runner Wang Junxia, who’s broken three major world records (10,000, 3,000 and 1,500 meters) in five days, attributes her astounding success to a potion made from fungus from the Dong Qiong Sya Cao Caterpillar--a rare Chinese caterpillar upon whose head . . . grows an even rarer mushroom. It’s a major ingredient of Typhoon’s ‘Big Chiew,’ along with ginseng and powdered deer antlers. It’s also suppose to enhance one’s sex life.”