The Alvarez Guide to Tokyo: Substitute Matches for Maps

Barry Alvarez knows how to survive in Tokyo without speaking Japanese.

Just take some matches, he says.

That’s what he’ll have his Wisconsin players do when the Badgers make the trip to Japan next week to prepare for a Dec. 4 game against Michigan State in the Tokyo Dome.

“Always carry a pack of matches (from your hotel),” Alvarez said. “If you get lost, you show someone your pack of matches at the subway station and they’ll show you where to get on, how much money for the ticket and how many stops.”

Alvarez picked up the tip while coaching in the Japan Bowl all-star game last January.

“Once you learn, it’s very simple to get around,” he said.

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Trivia time: When and where did Wilt Chamberlain make his NBA debut?

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Sour grapes?Glenn Dickey of the San Francisco Chronicle has been getting the message:

‘About a month ago when the (California) Bears played USC, I wrote they were in position to move to the top of the Pac-10 and they could take an important step by beating the Trojans.

“When they did not beat the Trojans, I heard on my voice mail from a number of USC alumni, the most irritating group this side of the Atlanta Braves’ fans. But my point was correct.”

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Turkey legs: For the last four years, John Madden and his CBS partner, Pat Summerall, have presented turkey legs to deserving pro football players each Thanksgiving Day.

“Last year, I had a turkey with six legs,” Madden told the Associated Press, “and this guy says to me, ‘Where’d you get the turkey with the two extra legs?’ Two extra legs? I don’t know where he gets his turkeys.”

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Twenty-three skidoo: Dave Krieger, who recently visited Hong Kong, wrote in the Rocky Mountain News: “The United States has only three exports that matter to the enormous local populace: hamburgers, blue jeans and basketball.

“Old men sit in the stands in the shade playing Chinese checkers. Chinese boys run the asphalt in big, black American sneakers, juking and jiving to the metal hoops scattered about.

“There must be a million children in Hong Kong who wear the number 23. The windows of the sporting goods stores are full of basketball shoes.”

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He’s Hun-gry: Former Miami Dolphin running back Larry Csonka says Coach Don Shula is “always motivated, always up. It’s a Hungarian tradition that goes back to Attila the Hun.”

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Queen who? Dizzy Dean, in his days as the St. Louis Browns’ radio announcer, when the queen of the Netherlands took a seat in the stands below him: “I don’t know what the commotion down there is, but it has something to do with a fat lady.”

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Trivia answer: Chamberlain made his debut with the Philadelphia Warriors in an exhibition against the St. Louis Hawks Sept. 30, 1959 at the Los Angeles Sports Arena.

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Quotebook: Arnold Palmer, on the young players he will face today and Sunday in the Skins Game: “Do you realize I had already won three PGA events before any of these kids were born?”