QUICK KICKS

* VIEWING UGLY: With artificial turf robbing teams of their best players, and free agency robbing teams of their depth, the NFL’s new mediocrity could become particularly costly in these final five weeks of the season.

Some of the worst games in recent memory will be foisted upon some of the potentially biggest audiences.

Start with Monday night’s game between the San Diego Chargers and the Indianapolis Colts. Better postpone the Christmas shopping for that one.

Or how about next Sunday night on ESPN, when the San Francisco 49ers play host to the Cincinnati Bengals. What could even Joe Theismann say about this one?

The list goes on:

--Saturday afternoon, Dec. 11, New York Jets at Washington. Another compelling reason for college football playoffs.

--Sunday night, Dec. 19, Philadelphia at Indianapolis. Nobody in football faces greater late-season odds than ESPN.

--New Year’s Eve day, Minnesota at Washington. The ultimate party pooper.

--Final Monday night game, Jan. 3, Philadelphia at San Francisco. A great matchup . . . six months ago.

* EQUAL TIME: The NFL, obviously concerned by the perception that there haven’t been many good games this season, released a list of what it says have been the top 15 games.

The top-ranked game was the Oct. 24 battle in Cleveland between the Browns and Pittsburgh Steelers, a game won on Eric Metcalf’s second punt return for a touchdown with 2:05 remaining.

The list was compiled before the Dallas Cowboys and Miami Dolphins slid into each other on Thanksgiving Day in a crazy game that should certainly rank first.

The NFL can only hope that with the bye weeks finally ending and teams finally adjusting to their new free agents, that game will be the beginning of an exciting stretch drive . . . even if none of it happens on national television.

* WHO’S THE TURKEY NOW? The Houston Oilers pulled off the age-old turkey trick again Thursday, but with a twist. This time, instead of rookies being sent to pick up free turkeys that didn’t exist, veterans were fooled.

An impostor showed up at the training facility and announced that he was from Randall’s food markets and that the store had free turkeys for players and coaches. Coupons were distributed.

How badly did such stars as Haywood Jeffires and Sean Jones fall for it? Some of them even took coupons out of teammates’ lockers so they could get more than one turkey.

* GO FIGURE:

--Since 1988, 34 of the 39 teams that either held or shared the leads in their divisions after the Thanksgiving weekend advanced to the playoffs.

--If Joe Bugel is to save his job as the Phoenix Cardinals’ coach, his team must win against the New York Giants in Giants Stadium for the first time in 10 years.

--Wondering if Reggie White has adjusted yet? The Green Bay Packers are averaging nearly four sacks a game in the last six games. The Rams haven’t had four sacks in the last three games combined.