THE NFL / BILL PLASCHKE : Will Buddy System Lead to Montana’s Downfall?

Buddy Ryan is upset again.

But this time, it is Joe Montana who’d better duck.

Ryan recently pointed out to his Houston Oiler defensive players that, although nine starting quarterbacks have not finished games against the Oilers this year, all of them have left the field upright.

All of them walking. Imagine that.

“Buddy was saying that we’ve had quarterbacks walk off the field against us, and quarterbacks helped off the field, but no quarterback carried off the field yet,” said injured Oiler safety Marcus Robertson. “That’s what he wants. For us to actually knock somebody out of the game.”

Such is the situation facing Montana, the Kansas City Chiefs, and league officials Sunday at the AFC semifinal game in Houston.

Those who have played for Ryan say he will be hunting for Montana’s head. They say intimidation will not be enough.

They say the league’s marquee player faces imminent danger.

Everyone agrees that although Ryan will not officially put an illegal bounty on Montana’s head, the orders from the Oiler defensive coordinator will be clear.

Said Garry Cobb, former Philadelphia Eagle linebacker: “Buddy used to always tell us, ‘Let’s go out there and open up a new can of quarterback.’ ”

Said former Chicago Bear linebacker Ron Rivera: “When it comes to rushing the quarterback, Buddy tells guys, ‘Be like a Ford running over a rooster.’ ”

Those who have played for Ryan say he teaches that if you are within one step of a quarterback after he throws the ball, hit him anyway.

If you are on the ground, kick his feet. If the quarterback throws an interception, make him pay double.

“During practice, when a quarterback threw an interception, Buddy would want two or three of us to block him,” Rivera said. “It was easy to figure out why.”

Ryan was not giving interviews this week. But his intentions seem so obvious, game officials will be ready.

“Hopefully, there will be no cheap shots,” said Carl Peterson, Chief general manager. “Hey, we understand Joe is a target. I just hope the officials will do what they normally do, and that is watch the quarterback for late hits.”

“The Chiefs had better worry,” Cobb said. “With Buddy it has always been, if you hurt somebody bad enough to put them out of the game, you get praise.”

During the regular season, the Oilers administered two official late hits, on Scott Secules and Neil O’Donnell. They led the league in clean sacks, with a team-record 52.

When Ryan was coach of the Eagles, he was cleared of all charges in a 1989 incident involving Dallas kicker Luis Zendejas, who said a bounty had been put on his head.

But it is usually players who put bounties on opponents. Rivera said that Ryan was never afraid to judge a weekly contest in which the Bears were awarded money for the hardest hits.

Nobody on Ryan’s defense made any money in 1989, the last time Montana faced him. Montana absorbed eight sacks in the first three quarters, yet threw five touchdown passes and rallied the San Francisco 49ers to a 38-28 victory over the Eagles.

We’ll learn Sunday just how long ago that was.

“If I know Buddy Ryan, and I know Buddy Ryan, I say Montana lasts one quarter this time,” Cobb said. “Tops.”

OUR NEW FAVORITE COACH

The NFL should send a thank-you note to the New York Jets for promoting defensive coordinator Pete Carroll to head coach.

Among other things, Carroll, 42, is known for surfing down the aisles of descending team airplanes on plastic covered play sheets.

He walks around the team training facility bouncing a basketball, which he often brings into meetings.

He sometimes pipes rock music through the building’s intercom system. Before the Jets’ recent game against the Dallas Cowboys, plays were drawn up to the tunes of James Brown.

During training camp, he has been known to cut meetings short and take the defensive team to a bowling alley.

“As a matter of fact, I am a kid,” said Carroll, in his first head coaching job after 17 years in the game. “I seem to find the fun in lots of stuff.”

About the only person who did not applaud the hire was Dolphin kicker Pete Stoyanovich. After Stoyanovich missed an extra-point kick last year, Carroll did what thousands of fans at home were probably doing.

He gave Stoyanovich the “choke” sign.

THIS SPRING’S REGGIE WHITE, COACH DIVISION

Ron Lynn, highly regarded defensive coordinator of the Cincinnati Bengals, surprised the league last week by turning down a new contract and essentially becoming a free agent.

Lynn, the architect of the great San Diego Charger defenses in the late 1980’s, said his decision had nothing to do with the organization or the contract offer.

Still mourning the death of his 16-month old son last spring, he wants a change of scenery and a chance to test the market.

“When it comes to the point in your career where you feel you have to take a shot, then you have to take a shot,” Lynn said.

When Lynn arrived in 1991, the Bengals had the 28th-ranked defense in the league. This year, they ranked 16th, second-best against the pass.

The bidding for him should be brisk, given the impact of his position. Defensive coordinators for the last three Super Bowl champions have become head coaches--Dave Wannstedt last season, Richie Petitbon in 1991 and Bill Belichick in 1990.

GO FIGURE

--When thinking about an All-Texas Super Bowl, think of this: Counting regular-season and preseason games, the Oilers have beaten the Cowboys in 10 of their last 11 meetings. The only time Dallas won was during the 1989 exhibition season.

Ryan won his last six games against Dallas as the Eagles’ coach. He has never lost to Jimmy Johnson.

--Remember when Rick Mirer signed that contract that would pay him a $3-million bonus if the Seattle Seahawks improved in only one of 40 statistical team categories?

Under Mirer, they improved in all 40.

--For a second consecutive year, the Cowboys were the league’s soundest team, with their starters missing only eight regular-season starts because of injuries. The Raiders led the AFC in that category with only nine missed starts, none by defensive players.

--Free Agency Works Both Ways Dept.: Of the 12 quarterbacks who finished with passer ratings of 80 or better this year, seven were rejuvenated veterans playing with new teams--Montana, Vinny Testaverde, Bubby Brister, Boomer Esiason, Bobby Hebert, Steve Beuerlein and Jeff Hostetler.

--You should believe reports that Mike Ditka wrote a letter to Jacksonville owner Wayne Weaver asking for a job. He became coach of the Chicago Bears only after writing a letter to George Halas.

--For want of a point spread: The biggest motivating factor for the Green Bay Packers on Sunday in Dallas comes not from a desire for revenge, but from Las Vegas. The Packers are about a two-touchdown underdog, an amazingly high spread for a playoff game and one that has made them furious.

“I mean, 13 1/2 points, that makes me sick,” said safety Leroy Butler. “Just like I’ve been telling the guys all year, nobody respects us.”

--OK, so maybe they aren’t really athletes: After completing a two-yard run for an extra point last week, kicker David Treadwell of the New York Giants pulled up lame with a strained calf muscle.

QUICK KICKS

* THINK OF THIS AS YOU WATCH THE PLAYERS, WISHING YOU WERE ONE OF THEM: Linebacker Brian Noble, recovering from his seventh knee operation, will be watching his Green Bay Packers on Sunday from home. Because of an infection, he has to connect himself to an IV unit every eight hours and pump his body full of antibiotics.

* SHARPE-R IMAGE: Sterling Sharpe’s first newspaper interviews in four years Sunday were not his idea.

Reggie Roberts, a publicist in the league office, went into the Green Bay locker room after Sharpe had caught three touchdown passes against the Detroit Lions and gave him this message: The national press is here. Be smart. Talk.

Sharpe, who holds a grudge against hometown newspaper reporters for perceived criticisms during his rookie year, was also under increased pressure from teammates, who are tired of answering all the questions.

* BUGEL CALL: Frankly, we’re getting a little sick of asking this question. Is Joe Bugel going to be the Phoenix Cardinal coach next year?

Bugel accompanied owner Bill Bidwill to Palo Alto this week for the East-West Shrine game, which is good for Bugel.

But Bidwill reportedly has met twice with Miami Hurricane Coach Dennis Erickson, which is bad for Bugel.

Erickson would be out of his mind to take that job. But Bugel and his assistant coaches are going out of their minds waiting for Bidwill to make an announcement.

Only three times in the 74-year history of the NFL has a coach with four consecutive losing seasons, like Bugel, returned for a fifth year.

Of course, one of those guys was Tom Landry, who took Dallas to the playoffs in the sixth year.

* AND WE THOUGHT THE ADDAMS FAMILY WAS SPOOKY: Bob Irsay, Indianapolis Colt owner, was once called “the devil on earth,” by his own mother.

Other family members have been quoted as saying that he got his start in the business by ripping off his father.

So what does Irsay do this week? He demotes his own son.

By hiring Bill Tobin to run the Colts, Irsay effectively removed Vice President Jimmy Irsay from making important player-personnel decisions.

Meanwhile, Tobin was behaving in a far different manner. The first person he hired? Brother Vince Tobin, who will be the Colts’ defensive coordinator.

* DO THEY KNOW SOMETHING WE DON’T? A public relations firm recently contacted a writer in Baltimore to ask if he wanted to interview quarterback Heath Shuler, who will certainly be one of the top three draft picks in April.

The woman said Baltimore was an important market for Shuler because she figured the Rams might draft him and then move the team there before next season.

* GET OVER IT, MAN: Jim Kelly, Buffalo quarterback, has sarcastically invited Penn State Coach Joe Paterno to today’s game. Kelly is still angry that Paterno recruited him as a linebacker, and finds it interesting that Paterno also recruited Raider quarterback Jeff Hostetler as a linebacker.

“We should both send him tickets for the game,” Kelly told reporters. “I wonder if he’s ever seen the corners in the upper deck?”