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Calendar Goes to the OSCARS : The Talkies

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Branko Lustig

Co-producer, “Schindler’s List” “My number was A3317. I’m a Holocaust survivor. It’s a long way from Auschwitz to this stage. People died in front of me. The last words they said were, ‘Be a witness to my murder. Tell the world how I died. Remember.’ ”

Steven Spielberg

Clutching award for “Schindler’s List,” his first best director Oscar “I have friends who have won this before, but I swear I have never held one before. This is the first time I’ve ever held one.”

Spielberg

Clutching award for second Oscar of the night, for best picture “This is the best drink of water after the longest drought of my life.”

Anna Paquin

Hyperventilating as she accepted best supporting actress award

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“Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.”

Tom Hanks

After being named best actor for the AIDS movie “Philadelphia” “I know that my work in this (movie) is magnified by the fact that the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels. We know their names, they number a thousand for each one of the red ribbons that we wear here tonight. They finally rest in the warm embrace of the gracious creator of us all, a healing embrace that cools their fevers, that clears their skin and allows their eyes to see the simple, self-evident common-sense truth that is made manifest by the benevolent creator of us all and was written down on paper by wise men, tolerant men in the City of Philadelphia 200 years ago.”

Bruce Springsteen

Singer-songwriter of best song, “Streets of Philadelphia” “You do your best work and you hope that it pulls out the best in your audience and some piece of it spills over into the real world and into people’s everyday lives and it takes the edge off of fear and allows us to recognize each other through our veil of differences. I always thought that was one of the things popular art was supposed to be about, along with the merchandising and all the other stuff.”

Jane Campion

Accepting award for best original screenplay for “The Piano” “When I was a student . . . I used to feel deeply cynical about awards shows like these. But tonight I’m overwhelmed.”

Fernando Trueba

Director, foreign film winner “Belle Epoque” “I would like to believe in God in order to thank him, but I just believe in Billy Wilder. So thank you, Billy Wilder.”

Whoopi Goldberg

During monologue, playing off Tim Robbins’ and Richard Gere’s political statements during last year’s show “I’m an equal-opportunity offender. And to make sure you don’t get short-changed in the soapbox department, I’m going to get it all out of my system right now: Save the whales; save the spotted owl; gay rights; men’s rights; women’s rights; human rights; feed the homeless; more gun control; free the Chinese dissidents; peace in Bosnia; health-care reform; choose choice; act up; more AIDS research; let Frank Sinatra finish; Lorena Bobbitt, please meet Bob Dole, and someone stop these damn earthquakes.”

Goldberg

In monologue, referring to her unpredictability “There haven’t been so many film executives sweating over one woman since Heidi Fleiss, honey.”

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Tommy Lee Jones

Referring to his partially shaven head for an upcoming role as Ty Cobb as he accepted the best supporting actor Oscar “The only thing a man can say at a time like this is, ‘I’m not really bald.’ ”

Deborah Kerr

Accepting honorary Oscar

“I’ve never been so frightened in all my life. But I feel better now, because I know I’m among friends.”

James Ingram

Singing an improvised line during nominated song “The Day I Fall in Love” as Missy the Saint Bernard missed her mark and walked aimlessly around the stage “Come on back here, Missy.”

Goldberg

After the dog show “And they call me a bitch.”

Goldberg

Also after the dog show, evidently in reference to a scouting report comparing Billy Crystal and Goldberg in Monday’s L.A. Times “We’ve got dogs, we’ve got dinosaurs back there. The whole backstage is covered with newspaper. Finally they found something to do with the L.A. Calendar sections.”

Goldberg

Introducing presenter Jeff Bridges “There have been so many great acting families, you know: the Redgraves, the Barrymores, the Menendezes, the Fairbanks, the Reagans . . . .”

Paul Newman

Accepting the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award with kudos for the film community’s generosity “I think we’re reminded too frequently about the things that don’t work in this country and not enough about the things that do.”

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