THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : There Was No Magic for Some Bad Teams

Michael Jordan left, Magic Johnson returned but only for a month, and scoring fell off five points a team or 10 a game. There were no great teams but lots of awful ones.

On the bright side, TV ratings stayed up. If people sat still for this season, the future’s so bright NBA execs have to wear shades

Where did all these skunks come from?

The Dallas Mavericks are about to become the first team to post consecutive 70-loss seasons. Only two other teams had lost 70 games once, the 9-73 Philadelphia 76ers in 1973 and the 12-70 Clippers in 1987.

Five teams won’t hit .300, which may be great in baseball but is only 25-57 in an NBA season.

Three more won’t win 30 games, which makes eight teams--almost a third of the NBA--a competitive write-off.

This and everything else including the killing of Cock Robin is usually blamed on expansion, but only one of these eight slugs joined the league in the expansion classes of 1988 and 1989.

The rest bumbled their way to the bottom, some on age, most on merit.

Starting from the bottom:

Mavericks--When the owner starts getting rid of everyone so he can bring back his original coach, who already has proven to be a pain there and everywhere he went thereafter, you glimpse the dimensions of the problem.

That’s just what’s happening in Big D where Donald Carter, the well-meaning-but-a-tad-confused owner, sacked personnel director Rick Sund, booted General Manager Norm Sonju upstairs, is expected to ax all-world-disaster Coach Quinn Buckner . . . and wants to bring back Dick Motta.

Motta an old-school, bad-tempered tyrant who couldn’t handle young players 10 years ago when they weren’t half the head cases they are now, doesn’t want to be the new general manager but may consider coaching.

Milwaukee Bucks--They outsmarted people with an aging roster for years, then fell like a dead tree in a hurricane. Mike Dunleavy, who has the brains and the necessary long-term deal, backed up the truck but he’s just starting.

Minnesota Timberwolves--Mismanagement clinic, featuring woolly choices in coaches, starting with strung-out Bill Musselman, leading to Mr. Nice Guy, Sidney Lowe, whom temperamental young stars Christian Laettner and Isaiah Rider, trample daily. Owners Marv Wolfensen and Harvey Ratner incurred a $75-million cost overrun on a $50-million arena--maybe they didn’t need that health club?--making the final tab $125 mil and a debt that has them threatening to move. Commissioner David Stern is trying to keep it together but everyone in the Twin Cities has had a bellyful of the T-Wolves.

Detroit Pistons--Marketing skill kept people coming and they just can’t bear to actually tear it down and rebuild. So they’ll be down that much longer. With Isiah Thomas moving upstairs, maybe they could make Bill Laimbeer coach as a public relations move.

Washington Bullets--If it wasn’t for bad luck, they wouldn’t have any luck at all. Despite five straight lottery appearances, they haven’t drafted better than fifth. The last time they were in the top three was 1968, when they took Wes Unseld, now the coach who’s about to be booted upstairs.

76ers--Years of owner Harold Katz’s madcap deals and drafts--remember Kenny Payne over Vlade Divac?--cost them players like Brad Daugherty and Charles Barkley and cast them into the lottery until 1995, at least.

Sacramento Kings--Should they have drafted Pervis Ellison? Should they have traded Ellison? Should they have drafted Dikembe Mutombo? What ever happened to Walt Williams? When are they going to get a break?

Clippers--Another lost season. This year’s team should have gone 41-41 by mistake. It might at least have finished strong but instead quit dead in its tracks. Management bought another two years by trading Danny Manning for 34-year-old Dominique Wilkins but even if ‘Nique and Ron Harper sign, is this a playoff team? Which of the present eight in the West can they beat out? What happens in two years?

Of such vision are losers made.

I’D LIKE TO NOMINATE . . . ME!

Mutombo speaks five languages but the Nugget center must have missed a word or two of English, like, modesty.

Since he plays in the NBA where the rule is, “I’d be more modest if I wasn’t so great,” we’ll forgive him this one.

Reward. This is something one earns with superior performance, rather than by asking for it.

Campaign. This is a process through which one persuades others with logic and sentiment, rather than by threatening them.

Mutombo, an otherwise nice young man, now refers to himself as “a great defensive player” and demands to be enshrined as the NBA’s defender of the year.

He leads the league in blocks, is praised by rival coaches such as Seattle’s George Karl (“He must block seven a game against us”) and even endorsed by a competitor, Hakeem Olajuwon (“He’s got my vote.”)

To Mutombo, that makes it unanimous.

“I think there is no doubt in my mind, I have to win that thing,” he said. “I deserve it. If I don’t get it, I will tell the league to kiss my rear end. I will tell the media and the press. I don’t know what else should I do to tell them I deserve the reward.”

I can’t think of anything.

HE OBVIOUSLY FEELS ANOTHER BOOK COMING

Pat Riley’s Knicks continue to swing from naught to juggernaut, losing eight of 12, winning 15 in a row, losing four of five.

Riley says it’s that old menmotum.

“You won’t find it in your dictionary,” he says. “It’s the reverse of momentum. You can never feel when menmotum will grab you around the throat because if just keeps subtly cropping up.

“In the last few games we’d won, we hadn’t played as well as we could. When you tell guys they’re doing something wrong while they’re winning, they roll their eyes. But when you lose, they listen.”

For those who insist on explanations using words found in the dictionary, try this: The Knicks overachieved for a month with a fantastic defensive effort and a weak schedule. (NBA streaks usually start with an opportunity granted by the schedule to build momentum.) Upon returning to earth, they missed the injured John Starks. How would a team averaging 96 points not miss a 19-point scorer?

Starks’ rehab is ahead of schedule and he’ll be back by the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Knicks and Atlanta Hawks face off for best record in the East Tuesday in the Garden.

WAITING FOR MAGIC (ONE MORE TIME)

One step up. One step back.

We’re doing the Magic Mambo.

OK, so it was tough making up his mind. OK, so he passed out different hints different days, the kind of thing that can drive a general manager to distraction.

I think it’s nice Johnson gives you a straight answer, even if he has a different answer to the same question a day later. He didn’t ask to coach the Lakers. They asked him, after which he showed why it was a good idea, no matter how it turns out.

That’s how it is with big guys, they have options. If the Lakers pursue Rick Pitino, he isn’t going to say, “Really? Me? I’ll be right out!”

He’ll say “I’ve got the Hornets on the other line. How about 10 years at $25 million and a say in personnel?”

FACES AND FIGURES

OK, it was me: Ken Norman, who left the Clippers as a free agent, was so hated in Milwaukee, he tried to talk the Clippers into dealing for him. “I’m a much better player than I displayed and I’m a much better leader than I displayed. I’m somewhat embarrassed about the season. In fact, it’s the biggest disapppointment in my life, the way the season has gone for me.” . . . Orlando Magic players donned special T-shirts and did what Shaquille O’Neal called “the young guns’ tribal dance” to celebrate making the playoffs for the first time. Said Jeff Turner, “The tribal dance was my signal to leave.” Magic players then carried Coach Brian Hill off the floor. Said Dennis Scott, “We did that for B. You can open the paper and see where Don Nelson or some coach with a prestigious name should be our coach but we know Brian is the only coach for us.”

Magic Johnson on Chris Webber, whom he befriended when Webber was an eighth grader: “The players are so different now. I was just hearing the other day Chris Webber was complaining about Don Nelson. I was thinking to myself, ‘What do you want?’ I’ve always thought of Don Nelson as a player’s coach. He lets you run. He lets you shoot. What more do you want? And Nellie’s a good guy, too. I just don’t understand.” Webber then went for 25 points, 10 rebounds and nine assists against the Lakers, proving that while youth may be inscrutable, it must also be served.

NBA types are advising Purdue’s Glenn Robinson to declare for the draft--whether he leaves school or not. He’s guaranteed to be the top pick this year. Next year, he could conceivably go No. 2, behind Rasheed Wallace, or could get hurt and lose some value. . . . Ricky Pierce, the closest thing the Seattle SuperSonics have to a go-to guy, is back after having a spur shaved off the top of his left foot. However, Gary Payton and Kendall Gill blossomed with additional minutes and Coach George Karl must now find time for four guards. . . . Coach Phil Jackson admitted he’d thought his Chicago Bulls would win 49 games this season. With a 4-1 finish, they will equal last season’s 57.

Askia Jones of Kansas State, the son of former 76er Wali Jones, was the MVP at the Portsmouth, Va., tournament, the first of the pre-draft camps. The rest of the all-tourney team: Melvin Booker, Missouri; Lawrence Funderburke, Ohio State; Brooks Thompson, Oklahoma State, Dickey Simpkins, Providence; Travis Ford, Kentucky; Kendrick Warren, Virginia Commonwealth. Portsmouth is for relative unknowns and leads to invitations to the Phoenix camp in June. Most lottery picks won’t attend any camp until the Chicago camp where they will only allow themselves to be measured and weighed.

Minnesota broadcaster Kevin McHale, a passionate Democrat, on turning down an invitation to meet President Bill Clinton: “I’ve had my experience with those Presidential things. We (the Boston Celtics) went to the White House after we won in 1984. It was about 150 degrees in the Rose Garden. (Ronald) Reagan came out and he mumbled something. Then he butchered (John) Havlicek’s name. That was it for me.”