Aussie Great Doesn’t Appreciate Nicklaus’ Modern Architecture

Peter Thomson, five-time winner of the British Open, doesn’t think much of modern golf course architecture, particularly fairways designed by Jack Nicklaus.

“I’ve always said that if your grandmother can’t enjoy it, it’s not a great golf course,” Thomson told Golf Digest. “I have begun to rate golf courses by the number of balls you need. For instance, if a course is a one-ball course, assuming it has all the usual features, I think it’s a great course.

“But a 12-ball course I think is rubbish. That’s my basic criticism of Jack Nicklaus courses. They are very much like the man himself, very serious and lacking in humor.”

Add Thomson: About the par-three 17th hole, with its island green, that is the centerpiece of the Pete Dye-designed Tournament Players Club course, the outspoken Australian said, “That silly little hole stuck in the middle of the lake is the greatest absurdity in golf. The pity is, it’s now been copied by countless people who just copy things.

“Had it been condemned at birth, as it should have been, we wouldn’t have those silly things.”

Trivia time: Which state leads the United States in number of registered boats?

Reason enough: In discussing the World Cup, reader George Kiseda asks how anyone can take seriously a sport that does not have a player who has dated Madonna?

Good thinking: Kevin Mitchell claims he was just sitting in a bar, minding his own business, when a beer bottle came flying through the air and hit him just above his right eye. He claims he was a mistaken target for a wild-armed woman patron.

But the Cincinnati left fielder said he had learned his lesson.

“I’m not going into another bar unless they use plastic cups.”

Whose was it? The Chicago Cubs and Cincinnati Reds played a nine-inning game in 1916 with only one baseball.

Modern era: The bathroom break is a rather recent development in tennis. Vitas Gerulaitis, who played before they were allowed, once said, “I guess we didn’t have bladders.”

The real reason: Jay Leno, on “The Tonight Show”: “Israeli researchers have announced that to reach peak performance, World Cup soccer players should not have sex six to eight days before a match. No wonder soccer hasn’t caught on in this country.”

Looking ahead: French tennis professional Henri Leconte, 30, was asked how his tennis will be in 20 years: “I think I will be playing in a wheelchair.”

Well named: The president of the PGA of America’s South Texas section is Bob Putt.

Different times: When scout Dick Snyder of the Atlanta Braves first tried to sign Dale Murphy to a contract, Murphy said the offer was too high.

“So we offered him $5,000 less and he signed,” Snyder recalled.

Trivia answer: Michigan, with 877,000.

Quotebook: TV commentator and journalist Bud Collins, on tennis: “You almost have to have a seance to get (players) to communicate.”