The Rangers Wouldn’t Trade (First) Places With Anyone

Stop telling the Texas Rangers how lucky they are to be leading the American League West with a 42-45 record, which would put them in last place in the American League Central.

But they aren’t in the AL Central, so there. Even so, the Rangers are the first team in major league history to be in first place at the All-Star break with a losing record. Obviously, it’s all realignment’s fault, which matters not a bit to the Rangers.

Said reliever Tom Henke, “If you don’t like it, then put it back the way it was.”

Manager Kevin Kennedy said his team is in first place and nothing else is important.

“Would we feel that much better if we were playing .700 ball and somebody else was playing .750 ball and we were eight games out?” Kennedy said. “I don’t think so.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Dodger record for most home runs by a right-handed hitter?

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Flash: Happy birthday to longtime Times sports editor Paul Zimmerman, 91, who lives in Lake Forest in Orange County.

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FYI: The first baseball All-Star game in California was played at the Coliseum on Aug. 3, 1959, which the American League won, 5-3, on Yogi Berra’s two-run homer.

Eight more have been played in California--two at San Francisco, two at San Diego, two at Anaheim Stadium, one at Dodger Stadium and one at Oakland.

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Bulletin board: UCLA might be interested in Page 141 of “Rough Magic, Bill Walsh’s Return to Stanford Football,” by Lowell Cohn.

Said assistant coach Scott Schuhmann of the Bruins, “They are very skilled, but they’re not tough.”

Linebacker Tom Williams called them “a bunch of pretty boys who play football in Westwood. They wear powder-blue uniforms and they never take anyone apart.”

The book is about the 1992 season, so Schuhmann and Williams are no longer around.

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Fennis anyone? Remember Fennis Dembo? The former Wyoming basketball player, who had seven three-pointers and 41 points against UCLA in the 1987 NCAA tournament, is trying to make it this week in the Cleveland Cavaliers’ camp for rookies and free agents.

Wyoming fans won’t easily forget Dembo. In Laramie, Dembo tended to stand out enough, but to make sure, he had an arrow shaved into his hairdo. Jim Brandenburg, who was Dembo’s coach at the time, told him to get rid of it.

Said Dembo: “He outlawed any cranial designs.”

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But he earned it: While we’re waiting to see if Glenn Robinson gets his $100-million contract with the Milwaukee Bucks, it’s worth remembering that Bob Cousy’s top salary was $30,000.

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Rumor mill: For what it’s worth, the Boston Globe reported that Georgetown Coach John Thompson has discussed the Clippers’ vacant coaching job and suggested to owner Donald Sterling that a five-year deal worth more than $7.5 million might be acceptable.

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Trivia answer: Gil Hodges, 42 in 1954.

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Quotebook: From the late Earl Strom, an NBA official for 29 years: “Officiating is the only occupation in the world where the highest accolade is silence.”