And would it be admissible in court?Writer...

And would it be admissible in court?Writer John M. Wilson spotted a marquee in front of a West L.A. church that asked:

“What would Jesus say to O.J.?”

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TV turf wars: It’s always a shame to see evidence of a new tagger in the neighborhood. We found the accompanying markings on the sidewalk outside the L.A. Criminal Courts Building, near the entrance used by the vehicle that transports Simpson (see photo). After consulting with several experts, we’ve concluded that this is the work of a camera-toting gang from Burbank.

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The physical side of L.A.: You’ve heard about the bright lights of L.A. But what about the street lights? Some books on the geography of the city:

--”Manhole Covers of Los Angeles,” by Robert and Mimi Melnick (Dawson’s Book Shop, 1974).

--”Stairway Walks in Los Angeles,” by Adah Bakalinsky and Larry Gordon (Wilderness Press, 1990).

--”The Art of Street Lighting in Los Angeles,” by Eddy Feldman (Dawson’s Book Shop, 1972).

--”Street Gallery: A Guide to 1,000 L.A. Murals” by Robin J. Dunitz (RJD Enterprises, 1993).

--”Early Cemeteries of the City of Los Angeles,” by Edwin Carpenter (Dawson’s Book Shop, 1973).

--”It Started With a Nickel,” Mary Elizabeth Pansini La Haye (Nickel Publications, 1988), a biography of Andrew Pansini, who founded L.A.’s first parking lot, at 4th and Olive streets, in 1917. (Pansini charged just a nickel a day but didn’t validate.)

Some L.A. features have yet to be explored, though.

For instance, no Angeleno has written a counterpart to Ken Eichenbaum’s epic work, “The Toilets of New York,” (Literati Books, 1990). That tome was described as “a handy guide to the best (and the worst) public and semipublic relief stations.”

When it’s written, we hope that the “Toilets of L.A.” book will employ Eichenbaum’s concept of including “walking and trotting maps.”

Readers of such a book would be well advised to also read “Manhole Covers of L.A.”

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Where’s Robin when you need him?The story, as we heard it, involves a husband and wife who recently decided to add a little excitement to their sex lives, somewhere north of Ventura Boulevard.

So one night, he tied her to their bed and left the room. Moments later, he barged through the door in a Batman costume, executed some karate kicks and began trampolining on the bed. Alas, he bounced up and hit his head on a ceiling fan. Luckily, the fixture was turned off. But he still managed to render himself unconscious. His wife’s screams alerted the neighbors, who called police. They untied her and revived the Conked Crusader, who no doubt wished he could hide in one of the manholes of L.A.

miscelLAny In the 1860s, when barbers dabbled in other disciplines, A. Meyer of L.A. ran an ad announcing: “Gentlemen will be waited on and have Shaving, Hair-Dressing, and Shampooing prepared in the most luxurious manner, and in the finest style of the art; while Cupping, Bleeding and Teeth-Extracting will also be attended to!” Sounds scary. But health care costs were lower.

STEVE HARVEY / Los Angeles Times