THE NFL / BILL PLASCHKE : The Changing Fortunes of Changing Quarterbacks

The phone rang in the middle of the night.

It had been an off-season filled with what agent Leigh Steinberg believed was the worst sort of player movement.

When he sleepily reached for the handset, he figured the caller could be only one type of person.

He was right.

It was a quarterback who had recently signed with a new team.

And the quarterback was panicked.

“Leigh,” shouted the man. “What was I thinking! “

What was the entire league thinking?

Eighteen months’ worth of talk about rebuilding and rebirths and lively arms and leadership has been followed by an autumn of discontent.

After watching the results of a free-agency overhaul in which 19 of the league’s 28 teams’ starting quarterbacks changed jobs, coaches and officials have come to a sobering conclusion.

There are no quick fixes.

Court a new quarterback and--unless the guy is a future Hall of Famer like Warren Moon or Joe Montana--you are courting disaster.

“I think people are finally realizing that an out pattern in Dallas is not the same as an out pattern in Minnesota,” said Pat Haden, former quarterback and current national TV and radio commentator.

Steinberg, who represents 22 quarterbacks, put it another way.

“In baseball, if a player can hit a home run in Candlestick Park for the Giants, the assumption is that he can hit one in Dodger Stadium for the Dodgers,” he said. “People who try to make that same sort of assumption about quarterbacks are wrong. Nothing is more important at that position than stability.”

The Detroit Lions know that now. For $11.1 million, they bought a player who has thrown more interceptions, 11, than touchdown passes, 10, with no completion having traveled farther than 34 yards before his season mercifully ended last week because of a broken finger.

Scott Mitchell will spend the off-season trying to forget his last three games, in which he completed 27 of 62 passes, three for touchdowns, and threw five interceptions.

Mitchell, a former backup in Miami, could never quite the learn the plays, the personnel, where in the heck to throw the ball.

According to Coach Wayne Fontes, Mitchell’s presence was actually a detriment.

“I hate to blame the quarterback for not moving the ball, but I told you guys going in, I thought this was a good offensive football team,” said Fontes after the Lions finally showed some spark last week with veteran backup Dave Krieg. “We just never got it going, never got in sync. With a guy 15 years (in the NFL), I think we will get a little more in sync.”

Mitchell has been the worst. But he has not been alone.

Eight other teams that made quarterback changes in the last two years because of free agency or the salary cap have watched the experiment fail.

Erik Kramer has been benched in Chicago. The same for Jim Harbaugh in Indianapolis. Steve Beuerlein has not helped in Arizona. Cody Carlson has been a joke in Houston.

Boomer Esiason is still trying to bring the New York Jets to another level. Chris Miller has been no help in lifting the Rams out of the basement.

Jeff George is still throwing tantrums in Atlanta. And the New York Giants, who thought they could manage without Phil Simms, now must manage without a trip to the playoffs, thanks to failure by Dave Brown.

“I expected all of them to start slowly, but it’s been sort of a surprise that so many have continued to struggle,” Haden said. “This just shows, you have to give new quarterbacks a lot of time to learn not only the receivers, but the offensive line, the running backs, everybody.”

Except if those quarterbacks are named Montana and Moon. What Montana did for the Kansas City Chiefs last year, Moon is doing this year for the Minnesota Vikings.

After a slow start, Moon is second in the league with 2,476 yards passing. That last-second, game-winning touchdown pass last week to Qadry Ismail Sunday?

That was his fourth option on the play.

Moon has a legitimate chance of becoming only the third quarterback to lead a team to the Super Bowl in his first year with that team.

“We ought to send Houston a basket of roses, champagne or whatever,” said receiver Cris Carter, who is on a pace for a league-record 128 receptions. “Everything centers around Warren.”

Steinberg, Moon’s agent, said he spent hours trying to talk the Oilers out of parting with Moon, who was traded last spring for salary-cap reasons.

He used words like catalyst, and touchstone, and leader.

But the Oilers made the mistake of looking at the quarterback position as one looks at an automobile. It was a mistake made by many other NFL teams and it might not soon be repeated.

“They told me Carlson was younger, and that was that,” Steinberg said.

Oh yeah, Carlson has thrown 132 passes this year. One for a touchdown.

ANOTHER LIST

Rating the league’s 28 starting quarterbacks this season, and notice where the quarterbacks with the longest tenure rank:

1. Dan Marino, Miami Dolphins. He ranks fourth in the league quarterback rating, but nobody has thrown for more touchdowns, 19. Nobody else has survived a tougher schedule with a weaker supporting cast. He deserves another Super Bowl.

2. Steve Young, San Francisco 49ers. This year he establishes himself as a tough guy. He’s averaging a league-leading 10.27 yards a pass on third down, when blitzes have collapsed his injury-weakened offensive line.

3. Troy Aikman, Dallas Cowboys. Nobody makes better decisions in important situations. He’s one of only two starters in the league without a fourth-quarter interception.

4. Moon, Vikings. By stealing him, the Vikings have finally atoned for their other big trade in the last 10 years. Perhaps you remember Herschel Walker?

5. Stan Humphries, San Diego Chargers. Although he has slowed in the second half, nobody in the AFC has thrown more touchdown passes on third down, five. And perhaps nobody means more to his team.

6. Montana, Chiefs. Guess who leads the AFC in passer rating? The older he gets, the more he resembles the little girl with the curl. When he’s bad, he’s horrid. But when he’s good. . . .

7. Randall Cunningham, Philadelphia Eagles. He still has to prove he can win a big game. But he and receivers Fred Barnett and Calvin Williams may be the league’s best trio.

8. Jim Everett, New Orleans Saints. Those who have bashed him for years will bash him now, but he has quietly revived his career while ranking third in the NFC in passing yardage and fourth in touchdowns. Face it, Ram fans, Miller is no substitute.

9. George, Falcons. OK, so he has put up some interesting numbers while tying for the league lead with six fourth-quarter touchdown passes.

10. Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers. Officials there are wondering if he will ever be the sort of leader they once envisioned. But, hey, he has more touchdowns passes, 13, than interceptions, eight, for the first time in nearly two years.

11. Drew Bledsoe, New England Patriots. OK, so he has thrown a league-leading 18 interceptions and probably put Coach Bill Parcells in the hospital. With a league-leading 2,605 yards, nobody is more fun to watch.

12. John Elway, Denver Broncos. Has the ball ever slipped out of his hands this much?

13. Jim Kelly, Buffalo Bills. Has the ball ever stuck to his hands this much?

14. Neil O’Donnell, Pittsburgh Steelers. The quarterback on a playoff team that needs a quarterback.

15. Esiason, Jets. We seem to remember a time when he could throw the ball more than 30 yards.

16. Rick Mirer, Seattle Seahawks. Nothing a new coach and offense couldn’t fix.

17. Jeff Hostetler, Raiders. Jay Schroeder has written to Art Shell and demanded a retraction.

18. Steve Walsh, Chicago Bears. Still unbeaten after four starts.

19. Vinny Testaverde, Cleveland Browns. He’d better recover from his concussion soon before owner Art Modell orders that Mark Rypien become the permanent starter.

20. Krieg, Lions. Major points for the beard.

21. Beuerlein, Cardinals. We still blame Buddy Ryan.

22. Chris Chandler, Rams. We hear he’s a heck of a golfer.

23. Trent Dilfer, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Hard to rate him when you can’t even recognize him through the bruises.

24. Harbaugh and Don Majkowski, Colts. No magic left in either one.

25. Gus Frerotte, Washington Redskins. If baseball and hockey weren’t having labor disputes, football fans wouldn’t have been bored enough to anoint him king after two games.

26. Jeff Blake, Cincinnati Bengals. See No. 25.

27. Carlson, Oilers. Oh well. Most of the Oiler coaching staff probably would have been fired even if he weren’t so inept. Wouldn’t they?

28. Kent Graham, New York Giants. Unlike the Giant quarterback who started the season, at least this guy is not using an obvious alias.

QUICK HITTERS

* WE LOVE IT WHEN THEY CALL EACH OTHER NAMES: Add New Orleans Saint quarterback Jim Everett to the list of folks accusing the Minnesota Vikings’ fourth-ranked defense of dirty play.

“Absolutely,” Everett told reporters. “And they coach it too. Everyone knows it.”

John Teerlinck, Viking defensive line coach, worked with the Rams and Everett in ’91.

“Everett knows how I coach, and he don’t like it,” Teerlinck responded. “He’s a punk.”

* STRANGE, STRANGE BEDFELLOWS: Bill Kenney, a quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs from 1979-88, ran for a Missouri State Senate seat in the recent election.

During the campaign, his opponent ran this ad:

“Remember the small crowds and empty parking lots at Arrowhead? Bill Kenney wants you to forget those years. During Kenney’s best season, only 11,000 Chiefs fans attended the Denver game. Kenney’s leadership resulted in the longest losing streak in Chiefs’ history, a decade without a playoff win, and two player strikes costing businesses millions. Now Bill Kenney wants to play games with your tax money.”

Kenney, a Republican, defeated incumbent Democrat Margaret Rennau by a 57% to 43% margin.

* WE KNEW SOMETHING SPECIAL WAS HAPPENING DOWN THERE: Sam Wyche, coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is about to make history. Any week now, he becomes the first coach to suffer double-digit losses in four consecutive seasons.

* WELL, IT’S ONE WAY TROY DRAYTON CAN GET THE BALL: Fred Barnett, Philadelphia Eagle wide receiver, has started an interesting custom.

Recently, after scoring a touchdown in a Monday night game against the Houston Oilers, he handed the ball to ABC sideline reporter Lynn Swann. He said it was his way of showing his appreciation to Swann for “setting the standard for all wide receivers.”

Last week, after scoring his second touchdown against the Arizona Cardinals, he ran over to former Eagle receiver Mike Quick, who was on the sideline, hugged him and gave him the ball.

As for future recipients of touchdown passes?

“I don’t know,” Barnett said. “I’ll just have to check the sideline and see who’s there and play it by ear.”

* IN TUNE: Producers for Pat Haden have confirmed that while serving as analyst on TNT’s Sunday and Thursday night games in the first half of the season, Haden correctly predicted seven plays that resulted in touchdowns.

Our favorite call occurred three weeks ago, when he warned the Vikings to look for the quarterback draw from Green Bay Packer quarterback Mark Brunell, who had just entered the game. Seconds later, Brunell ran the play for a touchdown.

Haden, who has even correctly predicted a blocked punt, will spend the second half of the season on CBS radio. But we all know he belongs on Monday nights.

* ANOTHER REASON WE ARE GLAD WE DON’T LIVE IN DALLAS: After driving Michael Irvin’s Mercedes into the rear of another car earlier this week, the Cowboys’ Alvin Harper was stunned by the reaction of the other driver.

He walked back to Harper, and said, “How’s your knee?”

And then let him drive away without properly informing police or filing an accident report.

* THIS GETS SEA WORLD OFF THEIR BACK: Apparently the Chargers’ defensive front--which ranks fourth in the league against the run--is going to stick with the nickname, “The Border Patrol” despite protests from local Latino groups.

Good for them.

Besides refusing to bend to the political correctness police, the Chargers also avoid using the second-best nickname submitted in a recent contest.

“The Killer Whales.”

* JIM BROWN, LEROY KELLY . . . LEROY HOARD? When the Cleveland Browns’ Leroy Hoard ran for 123 yards against the New England Patriots last week, it was only the team’s second 100-yard-or-more rushing day in the last five years.

* BOILING OILERS: After the Steelers’ Gary Anderson had kicked the winning field goal in overtime against the Oilers, Houston defenders Ray Childress and Al Smith engaged in a shouting match in the locker room and had to be separated just before the team prayer.

No sooner had somebody said, “Amen,” when the squabbling players were back at it.