Q&A; with CHICK HEARNS : Basketball’s Fast-Talking Master Poet

“Slam dunk,” “air ball,” “the mustard’s off the hot dog,” “no harm no foul” . . . in his 34 years as the only play-by-play announcer the Los Angeles Lakers have ever had, Chick Hearn has coined so many colorful--and oft borrowed--expressions that it wouldn’t be a reach to call him the poet laureate of basketball broadcasting.

Hearn’s rapid-fire delivery, keen descriptive prowess and innate feel for the game of basketball have earned him legendary status in the Southern California sports community. It’s nearly impossible to imagine a Laker game without the Aurora, Ill., native providing his inimitable “words’-eye view” description. Amazingly, Hearn has not missed a Laker broadcast since Nov . 20, 1965--a streak that recently exceeded 2,700 straight games. In 1991 he became only the third radio/TV personality to be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Buoyed by the Lakers’ improved play this season, Hearn recently talked about his career, pro basketball and the art of play-by-play announcing.

Question: Does your streak ever feel like a burden? Would it be nice to be able to take a night off when you’re not feeling well?

Answer: No, not now, because I’m eager to keep it going. I’m so eager that I would go to great lengths, which I have a couple of times in the last two years, to keep it going.

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Q: What’s the closest you’ve come to missing a game during the streak?

A: Last season I got up the morning of a home game and I couldn’t talk. I went down to a very fine specialist in Beverly Hills about 11 a.m. He said, “There’s no way you can go tonight. You haven’t any voice.” I said, “I’ve got to.” So he worked with me all day. He treated me in his office. He gave me medicine. He called me every hour when I got home. It got better, but the doctor still didn’t want me to do it. We did the game, suffice to say.

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Q: Is broadcasting NBA basketball still as rewarding as it used to be?

A: The dollar that’s being paid the players has hurt the game. The players now take advantage of coaches. The players’ attitude is, “I make more than you, so don’t tell me what to do.” That’s not true with every player, but some of the fun has gone out of the game. Players are spoiled by charter airplanes, the finest hotels, a big per diem every day. So I wonder if all the players all of the time are thinking about the game or what they’re going to be doing after the game. As long as they respond and do their job as well as management’s doing their job, then there’s nothing wrong because that’s the way it is today. If you don’t pay the guy $15 million for three years somebody else will.

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Q: So what is it that continues to make the NBA game so attractive to you?

A: The artistry of the players. The players are so good now, they can jump so high and run so fast. I believe the new rules that have been implemented this year have taken some of the thuggery out of the game. The finesse has been restored. Last year the people of America responded with a lack of desire to watch the playoffs or even the finals because nobody could make a hundred points. It was a matter of who would knock each other down the hardest. The TV ratings reflected it. They went down.

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Q: You can be tough on Laker players who don’t play up to par. Do players ever confront you over your on-air criticisms of them?

A: No. All I would have to say is, “Let’s look at the (video) tape. Maybe I did make a mistake.” They would say, “Oh no, we don’t need to see the tape!” They know. Years ago when you were just doing radio they could (challenge you) if they wanted to. But I’ve never had it done. When you’re doing a simulcast for every game, it’s there, baby, on tape. You can see it.

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Q: But clearly you want to see the Lakers do well, right?

A: Sure I want the Lakers to win. But I don’t want people to know it any more than I have to, particularly out here in California. When we play the Celtics or the Knicks we have as many people at the Forum yelling for them as we do for the Lakers. This area is built up of people from all over. So you try to go down the middle of the road as much as you can. Just tell the facts. If Magic (Johnson) makes a bad pass, it’s a bad pass. If he makes a great play, it’s a great play. You use the same expression whether (Larry) Bird did it or somebody else.

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Q: You were selected by NBC to announce some of the pay-per-view basketball games during the 1992 Olympics. But why haven’t we seen more of you on national TV broadcasting basketball?

A: Years ago, before the Lakers came to L.A., I did national TV for NBC (mostly announcing college sports). But at that time there wasn’t much interest in professional basketball. When that interest did develop the New York people usually got the job. I don’t know why or whether it’s fair or unfair.

I was pleased that they selected me to do the Olympics. Being in the Hall of Fame, having a star on Hollywood Boulevard, getting every award I guess you can get as an announcer, that’s satisfying enough. I’m not out for any self-acclamation.

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Q: How do your expressions, the Chickisms, such as “slam dunk,” “air ball” and the others, come to you?

A: They just pop out. If I tried to (manufacture them) I don’t think I could put it across. One night I saw a guy make a wrap-around pass and it went up into the stands and knocked somebody’s popcorn over. That’s when I (came up with) “the mustard’s off the hot dog.” I saw a player bouncing the ball up and down and it reminded me of a kid with a yo-yo, so I came up with “yo-yoing up and down.” There’s a lot of them.

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Q: How do you feel about other broadcasters using your Chickisms?

A: I feel very badly. Anybody that has to reach like that is making a fool of himself. But you can’t patent them. They’re out and if they want to use them I guess it’s their prerogative. I listen to games and I hear them all evening! The trouble is some of them don’t know how to work them in. It doesn’t quite come out right.

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Q: What do you do to prepare for a game?

A: I do something that I don’t think anyone else does. I warm up before a game. Baseball and basketball players warm up, so why shouldn’t the announcer warm up? When I get to the Forum, I go up into the booth and sit and (call an imaginary game). If we’re playing Houston that night, I’ll say, “Olajuwon out-jumps Vlade, knocks it into the backcourt where it’s saved by Smith,” and so forth. I play about a quarter with myself. Then when the game comes I’m warmed up. Every name flows off the end of your tongue. I don’t think that all of the announcers prepare enough. That’s the whole thing: preparation.

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Q: What type of approach do you take when you sit down to call a game?

A: I always like to pretend two things: one, I’m sitting in the seat beside you watching the game together. I’ll say, “Wasn’t that a great shot? Boy, it sure was.” The other thing I do is pretend I’m talking to people who are non-sighted. I try to create a word picture. I get more mail from blind people thanking me. Radio is the art form of sportscasting. If you’re any good, you can do a great job on radio. You’re a little limited doing a simulcast because you have to take a little bit off of the radio report--about 20% of verbiage comes off.

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Q: You were also the assistant general manager of the Lakers during the ‘70s. Is it true that you cast the deciding vote to draft Magic Johnson in 1979?

A: I don’t know if it was the deciding vote, but I was adamant. My selling point was this guy’s got the whole package, he can play offense, defense and he’s 6’9.” There was no guard in the league that big at that time. And he’s a showman. I said, “They’ll eat it up here in California, in Hollywood particularly.” After I made my speech, Mr. Cooke (then-Laker owner Jack Kent Cooke) said, “That’s it, it’s Magic.”

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Q: Do Laker general manager Jerry West and the coaching staff still solicit your advice on personnel matters?

A: Yes. I don’t know if they pay any attention to them. They do ask, “What do you think of this guy? Do you think he can help us?” My first question is, “What do you have to give up to get him?” Because if you take a wheel off from the left side of the car you still have to fix your machine. You have to be really careful.

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Q: What type of advice would you give to an aspiring play-by-play announcer?

A: To be himself. Don’t try to imitate Chick. Most people can’t talk as fast as I do. I’m not proud of that. That’s God-given. Create your own personality. But prepare, prepare, prepare until you’re sick of yourself.

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Q: How long do you plan to keep working?

A: As long as I enjoy it. I think Mr. Buss (team owner Jerry Buss) would give me that privilege. If this streak keeps going I don’t know what I’d do! But it’s not the streak that keeps me going. I just enjoy the game. I hope the Lakers can continue to improve. I’d like to be around when some of it comes to a real fruition either in another championship or heights that they seemingly used to enjoy every year. I think they’re on the right track. I sincerely do.

* Chick Hearn’s Laker broadcasts are carried on KCAL-TV Channel 9, Prime Sports (the new name for cable’s Prime Ticket) and KLAC-AM (570).