A New Year, but Same Old Buddy Ryan

David Casstevens of the Arizona Republic has some predictions for the new year:

--”Buddy Ryan will undergo a humility transplant. His body rejects it.

--”On Feb. 4, 1995, Cedric Ceballos will score 73 points against the Los Angeles Clip- pers.

--”Louisiana State basketball Coach Dale Brown will claim he spoke to aliens from another galaxy.”

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Trivia time: The Associated Press college football poll began in 1936. Which school was the first national champion?

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Ho, ho ho: Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg Times, on Tonya Harding’s Christmas skating exhibition in Portland, Ore.:

“After seeing Tonya Harding dressed as Mrs. Claus, it certainly is easier to understand why Santa stays out all night.”

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Scratched: Nick Canepa in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “If the Raiders’ future stable is Hollywood Park, handicappers will say: Great speed, but prone to bad rides, trouble and disqualification.”

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There’s a limit: Shaquille O’Neal of the Orlando Magic, on why his free-throw shooting percentage is so low: “I can’t have the looks, the rapping ability and the scoring ability-- and shoot free throws.”

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Right on: When the Chicago Bulls scored a franchise-low 63 points in a recent game against the Cleveland Cavaliers, Coach Phil Jackson was quick to blame rule changes.

But Chicago guard Steve Kerr astutely observed: “They didn’t change the rule about the size of the rim.”

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Gathering place: From Jay Leno: “Did you hear about the jail-break attempt today? I guess at the L.A. County Jail four inmates tried to tunnel into O.J.’s cell. They wanted to watch the playoffs on his big-screen TV.”

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On and on: Alonzo Mourning of the Charlotte Hornets, after straining a tendon in his right foot: “I thought I had already paid my dues to the injury god, but I guess I’m not finished.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1964, Keith Lincoln rushed for 206 yards and caught seven passes for 123 yards in leading the San Diego Chargers to a 51-10 victory over the Boston Patriots in the American Football League’s championship game.

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Trivia answer: Minnesota.

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Quotebook: Roman Gabriel, on the Rams’ probable move to St. Louis: “The people of St. Louis will be all excited to get this team. And then they’ll realize Georgia Frontiere is still the owner.”