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Their Job Is to Prevent Padre Season Going Up in Flames

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Serving as replacement players for the San Diego Padres should be no problem for Guy Sularz, 39, and Joe Kramer, 34. They’re accustomed to emergency duty.

Sularz and Kramer both have regular jobs as firefighters.

“It’s amazing how many athletes have become firemen,” Sularz said. “Being at the fire station is like being in a locker room. It’s got the same type of atmosphere.”

It’s presumed that a spittoon is available.

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Trivia time: What is the Laker record for margin of victory?

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Saluting West: Scott Layden, director of operations for the Utah Jazz, on the Lakers’ turnaround season and the acquisition of Cedric Ceballos:

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“I don’t think we should insult Jerry West by giving him executive of the year. I think we should name the award after him.”

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Baseball bonus? NBC’s Conan O’Brien on Michael Bolton’s disclosure that he was scheduled to sing the national anthem at last year’s canceled World Series:

“Maybe this baseball strike is not such a bad thing.”

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Good thinking: John Amaechi, a Penn State basketball player who grew up in England, on why he doesn’t talk trash on the court:

“That’s something I will never, ever, ever do, because it just sounds dumb with an English accent.”

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Stay away: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “NBA immortal Michael Jordan, now a baseball minor leaguer, promises he will not cross the picket line to join the White Sox, a declaration that surely comes as a relief to all, including the White Sox.”

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Values: Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “The women’s tennis tour, without a sponsor for more than a year, rejected a $10-million association with a perfectly honorable product.

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“Tampax didn’t even want its name above the tour, as Virginia Slims used to have. Now, it occurs to me that after prospering from a longtime association with cigarettes, the last thing they should be concerned about is dying from embarrassment.”

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Forgotten: The Good Doctor in Inside Sports:

Question: Doc, what teams do Barry Bonds, Greg Maddux, Tony Gwynn, Roger Clemens and Frank Thomas play for?

Answer: No one remembers.

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What, no towel? Mike Rice, Portland broadcaster, as Golden State made late substitutions in a blowout loss to the Trail Blazers: “They’re throwing in the flag.”

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For the record: The highest scoring game in NBA history was Detroit’s 186-184 victory over Denver on Dec. 13, 1983, in three overtimes.

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Looking back: On this day in 1971, Jack Nicklaus won the PGA championship by beating Billy Casper by three strokes at Palm Beach Gardens, Fla.

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Trivia answer: Sixty-three points. The Lakers beat the Golden State Warriors, 162-99, on March 19, 1972.

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Quotebook: George Foreman, when asked whether he worries about brain damage: “Anybody going into boxing already has brain damage.”

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