1st SpeedAt the celebrity-packed opening of Sunday’s...

1st Speed

At the celebrity-packed opening of Sunday’s AIDS Walk Los Angeles, actress Sandra Bullock, the co-emcee, mentioned that one of the organizers had gotten a speeding ticket on the way to the event. When Bullock introduced Mayor Richard Riordan, she handed the ticket to His Honor and wondered aloud if he could take care of it. Riordan then attempted a handoff of his own. But, for some reason, the mayor couldn’t persuade the fellow sitting near him--Police Chief Willie Williams--to take it.

*

Planet Hired Help: It’s not uncommon for businesses to hire caterers for big events. But we’d never heard of a restaurant asking someone else to prepare its food until the opening of Beverly Hills’ Planet Hollywood the other night. That’s right--owners Bruce, Arnold and Sly hired Ambrosia Productions of Santa Monica to cook for 2,000 or so of their closest friends.

Such is life in Beverly Hills, where the hired help does everything.

*

Trojan alumni notes: A couple of USC rooters involved in two of the biggest local news stories were seated a few rows apart during the Trojans’ game with Houston on Saturday. There was ex-USC star Al Cowlings, O.J. Simpson’s driver in the world-famous low-speed chase, near the 40-yard-line. And there was Robert Citron, the ex-Orange County treasurer/tax collector who was involved in the bankruptcy scandal. Our Coliseum spies tell us that the two were hit with a total of half a dozen autograph requests: six for Cowlings, none for Citron. And, no, Cowlings didn’t charge.

*

They can fix bad-hair days: Paul Spix of Diamond Bar figures the beauty shop he found in a classified ad must have “clients as tough as nails.” (see excerpt above)

*

Offbeat L.A. landmarks: A Mideast union of sorts has been reached in Beverly Hills, where the Israel Discount Bank inhabits a building with Arab-style architecture (see photo).

Where do those people come from?Chris Darryn, whose Reseda-based Talk Show Registry supplies guests to the Geraldos and Oprahs of the world, has added these clients to his data bank:

* Punky Patty Pierce, age 77, believed to be the oldest lead singer of a punk rock group (White Trash Debutantes). Patty advises her fans: “Brush your teeth and always wear a condom.”

* Steve Radford, a retired law enforcement officer who spent $20,000 on cosmetic surgery so he could become a look-alike for actor Tom Arnold.

* William Knaus, who describes himself as “an unrealized transsexual of lesbian orientation.” Knaus plans to become Cheryl Andrea Brohn after a sex-change operation and then run for President in 1996. At last--a candidate who has undergone more changes than Pete Wilson!

miscelLAny:

Sure, the trial has been an ordeal for Simpson jurors. But at least they haven’t had to hear this phrase repeated at least 10,000 times by KFWB-AM (1270) radio: “Coming up in the next 22 minutes, additional details on our top story, the O.J. Simpson double-murder trial . . . “