Rams Cannot Hide From Dreaded 49ers

The 49ers thrashed the Rams in San Francisco Sunday afternoon, 41-13, five weeks after thrashing them in St. Louis, 44-10, and aren’t you glad you don’t have to care about these things anymore?

Living in a Ram-free zone can be a beautiful experience, particularly on those two Sundays every year when the 49ers are on the schedule.

You eat better.

You sleep better.

You can watch the Sunday night highlight shows without doubling over due to intense lower abdominal pain.

St. Louis catches the short end of this rivalry now, if that’s still a viable description.

The geography, among other items, has changed. This is no longer northern California versus Southern California, fog versus smog, gnocchi versus nachos, Chardonnay versus strawberry margaritas, Coit Tower versus South Coast Plaza, cappuccino versus. . .well, cappuccino.

Can St. Louis and San Francisco truly be considered arch-rivals?

One of them has an arch, but that’s about it.

And the football teams? The Rams and the 49ers. Are they still blood enemies, feuding families, worthy adversaries?

How can they be when the Rams are 0-11 against the 49ers since November, 1990?

And 7-23 over the last 15 years?

And 1-14 in Ram home games during those same 15 seasons?

Once upon a time, the Rams had an excuse. The could beat most everybody else in the league, they just couldn’t figure out Joe Montana. Fair enough. Not many teams could.

But since Montana left the 49ers, the Rams are 0-6 against the 49ers, who since have been quarterbacked by Steve Young and Elvis Grbac.

Average final score in those games: 49ers 38, Rams 16.

The situation has only worsened since the Rams’ change of venue. The St. Louis Rams now lose to the 49ers by an average score of 43-12.

Sunday at Candlestick/3Com Park, (pause here for several sad shakes of the head) the Rams actually had the lead. For about a minute. Chris Miller to Todd Kinchen, two-yard bomb over the middle, 7-0 first quarter advantage.

Which prompted Kinchen, always an excitable one, to go ballistic.

Kinchen spiked the football at the base of the goal post. Then he kicked the goal-post padding. And punched it. And slapped it. And kneed it. And kicked it, punched it and kneed it some more. Kinchen beat up on that padding the way the 49ers usually beat up on the Rams.

The intent was to mock 49er linebacker Ken Norton, who pulled a similar punching bag routine after turning two interceptions into touchdowns last month in St. Louis, but the result was to irritate the 49ers beyond simple annoyance, seldom a wise move on the 49ers’ home field with 49 1/2 minutes left to play.

By halftime, it was 28-7, San Francisco. J.J. Stokes scored the first touchdown of his NFL career. And his second. Derek Loville scored another touchdown against the team that once cut him. Eric Davis, a 49er cornerback, scored San Francisco’s fourth touchdown, after intercepting pass and breaking a weak impression of a desperation tackle by Kinchen. And then it was Davis’ turn to mock Kinchen, which he did, long and hard for the television cameras.

It was over then.

The Rams, who had all of Missouri believing they were Super Bowl-bound after opening 4-0, lost for the sixth time in eight attempts, dropping back to .500 at 6-6 and, most likely, out of postseason range.

The 49ers, who had all of the Bay Area in a cold-sweat panic after losses to New Orleans and Carolina, are 8-4 after consecutive victories over the Cowboys, Dolphins and Rams, and headed where?

Dallas in mid-January?

Tempe in late January?

Another ticker-tape parade in early February?

Why not?

Fish that checklist out of the trash.

Quarterback? Steve Young is back.

Best in the league.

Receivers? Brent Jones is back. Jerry Rice never left. J.J. Stokes just arrived.

Best in the league.

Defense? Norton, Davis, Rickey Jackson, Bryant Young, Tim McDonald, Merton Hanks--the individual reputations begin to add up.

Best in the league.

So they don’t have Deion.

Neither have 28 of the previous 29 Super Bowl winners.

It can be done. And if NFL football is as “cerebral” and “complex” as it’s made out to be, there ought to be more to picking the Super Bowl champion than “Whoever Has Deion.”

Sunday in San Francisco merely reconfirmed our suspicions. The 49ers remain the team to beat and the Rams remain the team that cannot beat them.

Same old Rams.

Same old 49ers.

St. Louis, you don’t know what you’re missing.