BITES : Animal Cookies

Can you resist a book titled “Kitten’s Cookie Party” (by Tracey Curtis; Joshua Morris/Reader’s Digest Young Families, $7.99)? Especially when it comes with plastic cookie molds shaped like a duck, a teddy bear, a pig, a rabbit and a kitten?

Maybe if you’re a grown-up--a grown-up without small children. Otherwise, you’re going to be making Lemon Ducks and Chocolate Pigs and Coconut Rabbits next rainy day. The recipes are meant to be made by an adult with “help” (e.g., decorating) from the children. At bookstores.

More French Restaurant Shenanigans

Recently it was kickbacks from their purveyors to top French restaurants; now it’s a restaurant rating hoax. As Rosanne Rosanna-Danna would say, Si ce n’est pas une chose, c’est une autre.

Out of a desire to “shake the gastronomic world out of its doldrums,” a writer named Perico Legasse wrote a phony story in the weekly L’Evenement du Jeudi that the Michelin Guide had awarded an unprecedented fourth star to the Paris restaurant Le Vivarois; the guide’s top ranking is three stars. An Associated Press story spread the report but was quickly withdrawn.

One clue that this was a hoax was the fact that Le Vivarois had received only two stars previously, meaning that in one year it would have had to leapfrog over all 20 three-star restaurants. Another should have been the guide’s publication date, which isn’t until the second week in March.

That’s Entertainment

Coming soon to a supermarket near you: the Sinatra Shelf Talker, also known as an audio ad box. It will sit near the Sinatra brand pastas and sauces, its electronic eye on the lookout for motion. When a customer comes within range, badda-boom--here comes the Chairman of the Board’s voice for 10 seconds’ worth of “New York, New York.”

Sorry, Charlies

Charlie the Tuna hasn’t appeared in a Starkist TV commercial for nearly 10 years, but he’s said to be coming back this summer. This will be delightful nostlgia for much of America and the return of a nightmare for many a man named Charlie who thought he’d never hear the words “Sorry, Charlie” uttered as a witticism again. Starkist hints that the ever-luckless scombroid is going to be leaner and fitter this time, rollerblading and playing volleyball. Swell.