Famous first words:As you probably read, when...

Famous first words:

As you probably read, when the FBI confronted Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski in Lincoln, Mont., one agent said, “Ted, we need to talk.” Not exactly a memorable opening. In fact, it doesn’t compare with the line uttered by a federal marshal to escaped Southland spy Christopher Boyce in a Washington eatery. The marshal, his gun drawn, told Boyce: “Drop that hamburger!”

NO SCHOOL SPIRIT: Boyce, the “Falcon” of the spy team that was chronicled in the book and movie “The Falcon and the Snowman,” was a TRW engineer who sold secrets to the Soviet Union. After he escaped from prison in 1980, the feds weren’t the only group looking for him. His Rolling Hills High classmates were planning a 10-year reunion and they listed him among the “missing alumni.”

BETWEEN A HARD ROCK AND A PLACE: We mentioned that T-shirts bearing the words “Saigon Hard Rock Cafe” are for sale in Vietnam even though there is no such club. Steven Katz of L.A. has an explanation. “When I was in Saigon three years ago, there was a Hard Rock Cafe but it has since been shut down by the government,” he said.

He added that last year, when he visited the Thai island resort of Phuket, “I spotted a Hard Rock Cafe--not to be confused with the Rock Hard Cafe down the street.”

TRASHMAN TO THE STARS: Ward Harrison of Utica, Ind., who has amassed about 10,000 items cast off by celebrities, told Collecting magazine how it all began: “I was taking a shortcut to a friend’s house above Beverly Hills. I took an alley and saw all this stuff heaped up behind Cher’s house. . . . That was the first time I ever had any knowledge that the stars threw stuff away.”

LEAVE THE HANDCUFFING TO THEM: The L.A. County Sheriff’s Department has a collection of souvenir milk bottle caps, or POGs, for kids. One, titled “Transportation”, shows a black and white bus. But we’ve got a tip for youngsters: That’s one particular transit line you want to avoid.

MORE MOANERS THAN MONAS: Architect Edward Beall writes that the Palos Verdes Art Center is organizing an October fund-raiser themed “The Streets of Paris.” Part of the center “will be billed as the Louvre with hundreds of Mona Lisas. These Monas will be an auction item that night. We have about 50 to date and are only getting under way.”

And where do these Mona un-look-alikes come from? Many are painted by Beall’s dinner guests, who are asked to paint them before their meal is served.

“We set up canvasses in the kitchen,” explained Beall’s wife Susan, also an architect. “We serve hors d’oeuvres as well as cocktails.”

The cocktails, she added, “loosen up the artistic nature.”

miscelLAny:

As we were driving on 7th Street in Long Beach on Friday, we approached a pedestrian overpass on which stood a dozen or so young men in shorts. All had their backs to us. Just as we drove under the walkway, they all dropped their pants. While we’re not paranoid enough to think that they were specifically aiming their bare backsides at us, we took it as a sign that we need a vacation. We’ll be back April 15.