Holy Hot Dog, Batman, It’s a Flying Wienie!

Jayson Stark of the Philadelphia Inquirer writes that he has seen an invention that ranks in importance with the car and the computer. It’s the Hot Dog Launcher!

Hot dogs are now launched, like missiles, to fans at Veterans Stadium from 50 yards away.

As with any worthwhile invention, however, there were a few glitches before the launcher was perfected.

At first, after the hot dog had sailed about 50 feet, the dog parted company from the bun, which exploded and disintegrated.

“The fragment crisis was solved by wrapping the hot dog in foil and a zip-lock bag,” Stark wrote. “Now the launcher is launching so brilliantly we’re surprised NASA hasn’t called for tips.”

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Trivia time: Which is the last NBA team not to win at least two championships in a row?

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Something in common: Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune on the travails of Mike Tyson and Tonya Harding:

“After all, boxing and figure skaters aren’t that different. Both are scored by judges, the losers usually fall down, and the announcers wear tuxedos.”

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A slam dunk: Peter May in the Boston Globe on Michael Jordan’s chances of losing the NBA’s MVP award: “Saddam Hussein has a better chance of losing the next ‘free’ election in Iraq.”

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Out of the ballpark: Boston Red Sox pitcher Roger Clemens wasn’t pitching Thursday night, but he was among the bidders for President Kennedy’s golf clubs at a New York auction, making his call from Fenway Park during a game against Texas.

Clemens’ top bid reached $121,000--far short of the $387,500 fetched by a set of irons or $772,500 for the woods.

Though he was disappointed and may try for other items today, Clemens happens to be friends with another former president.

“When I get home I’m going to have to try to bribe President Bush and get a set of his,” Clemens said.

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Revelation: Oddsmaker Jimmy “the Greek” Snyder, who died Sunday in Las Vegas, once said, “I was 25 before I knew it was illegal to bet.”

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Are you sure? Andrew Shue, star of TV’s “Melrose Place,” is a reserve midfielder for the Galaxy, L.A.’s Major League Soccer team.

Asked which is more exciting, acting opposite Heather Locklear or playing for the Galaxy, Shue said, “I’m sorry, Heather, but this is a little better.”

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Training wheels: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Ross Perot Jr. bought the Dallas Mavericks. And if he does OK, Dad said he could have a real team next.”

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Trivia answer: The 1985-86 Boston Celtics.

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And finally: Steve Kerr of the Chicago Bulls is excited about his team’s accomplishments, more so, perhaps, than his famous teammates.

“I remember a few weeks ago, Wheaties had called and was talking about putting guys on the box. They weren’t offering any money and some guys were saying, ‘We’ve got to get paid for that.’

“Jud [Buechler] and I looked at one another and we said, ‘We’ll pay them to get on the box of Wheaties.’ ”