NONFICTION - July 7, 1996

NOT LIKE OTHER BOYS: Growing Up Gay: A Mother and Son Look Back by Marlene Fanta Shyer and Christopher Shyer (Houghton Mifflin: $21.95, 259 pp.). Even though Christopher Shyer walked and talked just like all the other kids, there was always something different about him. His classmates picked up on it and made his life miserable. His mother also picked up on it and hoped that by withholding affection and force-feeding masculine activities, she could avert what she feared was inevitable. The time was the ‘70s and Chris felt completely alone. “I hungered for ears into which I could whisper my secret, and I covertly sought help in the library, to no avail. No book, pamphlet or magazine to guide me along my isolated path.”

Alternating chapters between mother and son, “Not Like Other Boys” chronicles the slow conversion of both Marlene and Chris Shyer as they move from fear of homosexuality to loving acceptance. Marlene Shyer writes with a self-awareness that is truly admirable. Her willingness to take responsibility for mistakes makes for inspiring reading independent of the subject matter. Chris Shyer’s chapters are not quite as successful. In spite of his honesty, the writing has a slightly defensive quality, as if he has something to prove or protect. Still, “Not Like Other Boys” is a brave book that speaks to a fundamental aspect of human experience: the need to accept who we really are.